Hi (:
My name is FANGLIN and I rawkz!
Twenty-one candles on the 26th June '11. I ♥ Singing, Laughing, and Stoning.

FRIENDS
is the bomb.
i love love love my friends TTM!
xoxo


withlotsof♥♥♥♥




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thank you for the music at 8:53 PM



so i was studying like some crazy..and then i got bored. really. really really bored. That's when i random draw that thing above..... and then....... with my V9 taking a very cool picture and then tadah... nice effect okay! (:
ehhh! and and and, it's not just a picture! a picture says a thousand words.
Okay for my close friends, i know that i've recently told you guys a different story... but then.. i guess everything still bound back. ): Oh well, if you get what i mean. You know... love is just so amazing... =)
It's like... you need to breathe to survive. I'm not saying.... i need love to survive.. but when you found it... that's how exactly it feels.
Okay, sorry. I think i've gone bonkers studying.

I need to do another paragraph of intro before going to sleep! =] JIAYOU FANGLIN! :DD


i definitely believe that i can make it for A level. Well, let's be realistic.. AAA is not possible. oh well, i'm going to work hard. so dont spoil my plan! (:



As much as i hate GP. I'm actually doing research. can you believe it? HAHAHA!
And btw, i think the old leo possessed me! ): Now i feel like not going sch like everyday. GRRRRR... nevermind tmr only like 4 hrs?! (: ECONS/MATHS/ECONS/PHYSICS only! :D YAYYY! Then wed got tuition. *excited!* HAHAHA!


alright im off to write my introduction.


Such a weird but nice and sweet dream. at 11:22 PM

Today morning i woke up smiling. Yes, it's kinda weird.
You see, in my very stressful days, i happen to dream about smth that MAY come true. (my dreams are always a scene that will happen in the future. and it's really weird!)
Well anyway, i couldn't remember vividly what was it exactly. but then... you know.... the feeling is just SO SWEET~.


ahahah! The reason for this dream might be because i was too into..... or maybe cos i was thinking abt .... before i sleep. or smth like that la! HAHAHA! Well, i dream that i was sleeping beside him on this floor(i have no idea whyyy!) and then... he just pulled me nearer to him and i was..... sleeping... on his arms.. i don't know how to explain.. you know like.. the guy's arm is under the girl's head? AH YA! lol. like 在他的怀里. HAHAHA! yupp and it felt so warm in the dream and that for the first time i felt that.... he was really sweet and caring. THIS HIM........ is.........
ask me if you want to know! HAHHAAH!


okay, i am not sick or anything okay! OMG! it was just a dream. but, ahahaha i do feel happy about that dream. =/ Will it happen? LOL!


Did not really watch the F1 race just now. but heard that Alonso won the first for the race itself. and Lewis Hamilton got first for the championship thing?! LOL! i not sure about it.. was doing my work while with my ds songs on.. and then was just looking at the tv occassionally lo. So hardworking right! HAHAHAH! :p


I'll feel so sad for PS-ing my good friend tomorrow again! Aiya, i'm just tired of school. Oh btw, i've found myself a chemistry tuition. HAHA! and the person is such a joke, she was saying i must have did really bad for my chem prelim. LOL! So, it's every wed. Oh man, now i'm BOOK BOOK BOOK on wed! Together with Jiawen, grp with 2 VJ guys. I scared that they will discriminate! urghhh! which they better don't! )): But well, i do hope that they are friendly, good looking and all... so that you know.. i can make new friends! HAHAHAAHHAAH! :p Joking la. i just hope that they are friendly.


Now i'm like still looking around for physics tuition! OMG! last 1 month man! I need it. really need it! HELP!!


Was thinking about one of my friend and i feel so sad.
He's going through a tough time and i know it. But i don't know how to cheer him up. well, other than being there for him, i really don't know what else to do. Sigh! )): I hope he will feel better soon. This issue has already been in his mind for so long. Oh man, screw the guy who make him feel so sad la! )):
28th is gone and i think we'll have to wait for another 28. or maybe 2 more mths later the 28th! HAHAHA! actually it doesnt matter to me la! =] oh man.
LOVE always come when you least expected it and LOVE never fails to make you smile.
LOVE makes you happy and LOVE is something that you need in life. ((:
I LOVE ........ ((:


And now, i'm thinking of another friend of mine! I was thinking.....
The day when he's gone... i really really don't know what will happen to me! ):
I've already been so dependant on him. And that he knows me really well and that he can see through me.. The day when he's gone, i will cry really crazy. ): Oh mannnn, i can't imagine that scene. It's breaking my heart.


SIGH! ):
FANGLIN IS SO CONFUSED, STRESSED, SAD!




i shall continue studying now! CHIONG AH! :D


给我你的爱 at 1:22 PM

给我你的爱　让我陪着你去未来
给我你的爱　手拉着手不放开


Hello.
It's sunday and i'm blogging because i'm doing the GP essay outline which i don't feel like doing. oh Gosh! this is so boring. =/
What to do, everything is just so repetitive. URGH!
Last week of school already, the next 2 weeks would be another exam. =/
SIGH! I shall just chiong chiong chiong! ): I'm trying very hard not to skip school.
Really trying very hard. Tomorrow got GP consultation. I don't know whether i want to go school or not leh, not yet decided. Also got physics consultation. So sian..
i book jiawen to study also. Then.... still got so much homework need to be done.
Oh man. I'm so dying. Perhaps at nnight den decide whether want to go or not lo. =]


And i'm listening to s25 kbox session the songs that we sang. OMG! i swear i miss s25 to the core! )))): You know like... Edward's singing? Jiang laoshi's? the shy zhaoyuan? still got Nadia..Shuqi... =[[ We've been saying we want to go kbox this yr and it hasn't come true. Oh man. ))): I really want to sing la! After A LEVEL! people wait for us! :D


And then........ i miss going out with jungyi!
This yr i did not go school with her once at all. )): we said to come sch together but then i've nt been doing so. and then 3 weeks later i'm graduating already. SIGH! this is so saddening right? oh man, After a level i'm gonna do so many things! (:
and i want to earn money to buy my ipod la! OMGG! OKAY LOOKING FORWARD! :D


And(yes, i have lots of and..) I need to see armyguy desperately too! HAHAHA! i never see him this week la! ): SIGHHHH~


Btw, i've decided not to go prom and like doing a propaganda against it! ):
i feel so evil. GRRRRR!


只欠一句我爱你 at 1:54 AM



From the handsome one! (:



唐禹哲 - 只欠一句我爱你
你微微的笑 温暖我心
让我有了冲劲动力
于是我又鼓起了勇气
决定要疯狂爱上你
千千万万的爱意 等不及
凉风徐徐的提醒 我和你
只欠一句我爱你
没胆亲口告诉你
想要照顾你 好好疼你
只差一句你答应
点头说你也愿意
和我在一起 手牵着你
紧紧抱着你

Ahahaha, this song is to someone. and i think when the person is reading this post! he should know that it's to him. =/
not really a nice song but not that bad! from my nan xue zhang leh! :p



Life is difficult but always look at things in a positive way! :D


out with someone new. (: at 8:38 PM

So today i went out with someone new(as in never go out before!) (:
Don't say that i am a loner!

To sum it up,
Zookeeper is a very interesting and nice person.
hahaha, he has to listen to all my really cold jokes and my nonsenses!
I'm really glad it did not end up how i thought it would end up! (:
Well, we finally met after 3 yrs! so cool right? we are still in contact after 3 yrs!
*cheers to our friendship, zookeeper!


oh man, i feel like a really mountain tortoise! it's like.. i just landed in Singapore or smth! LOL! so many thing i never see before! omg! HAHHA!


So met him at 1pm, and went to........ this..... store.......potong pasir there.
salvation army thingy? it has lots of furnitures and stuff. (:
freezer? piano? mattress? ya. (:
But we left that place really soon. HAHAHA! and we walk to potong pasir mrt station and took train to city hall to marina square!
he wanted to buy a cap but in the end did not, we went to ministry of food to eat. =] new place, i never go before sia! LOL! then after that, went to watch the house bunny! HAHAHA it's really funny. but i tot mamma mia more funny! HAHAHA! (:
So yea, in the end caught the small size vehicle racing. and omggg.. so fast la the speed! HAHAHA! and zookeeper turned into a kid when he heard the car racing sound. =P after that went home for dinner lo. (:


Anyway, Today in school, my very good friend, LIPSENG is freaking lame and funny tooo! together with JUIJEN! they both are classic! They made my chem lect so enjoyable. HAHAHA! they are just crappy people! With LIPSENG not trusting me but trusting JJ, in the end he got the wrong answer. and with JUIJEN betting with so much confidence that his answer is right.. but in the end wrong! HAHAHAHA!
He's just such a joke. Lipseng and i were laughing like there was no tomorrow! =p
And then, after lecture. GUESS WHAT! JUIJEN LOST HIS PEN CAP AND HIS LIQUID PAPER CAP! hahaahahha! such a joke. drop without a sound he proclaim! :p


studied after chem lect a lil.
THANK YOU BOB FOR YOUR EARPIECE! XIE XIE NI! XD!





A level is approaching and i am really really stress up.
I need someone to be there constantly asking me to study.
I need some entertainment too. =/
I need lots of stuff.
But i do thank my nice and patient friends all ard me to push me on.
Leo, Bob, Claudia, FangHan, Wanyin, Rebecca, Val, zookeeper, armyguy, my sec sch friends. (: i will not give up just yet.
PERSEVERE ON! :D



I know that you are really soft hearted! but why after i do so much... u are not being soft-hearted to me?

只欠一句我爱你
没胆亲口告诉你
想要照顾你 好好疼你
只差一句你答应
点头说你也愿意
和我在一起 手牵着你
紧紧抱着你


myohmy! at 8:59 PM

Been so long since i've posted a long post!
Life has been so boring. =/ and it is seriously very very boring.
Anyway, here to introduce 2 songs!

Jay chou-稻香.
Guang Liang-右手边

okay, i think it's not bad. (: New songs.
These 2 songs have been playing everytime i study! =]
Oh and also another song.. ah du-差一点.

My world revolve around studying, msging, listening to song, catching very lil slp, trying to pay attention and catch as much as possible, try not to fall aslp in school, try to stay happy, try to compose my feelings, try not to get too stress.

ON THURSDAY, i just simply felt too stress about GP. i can't seem to calm down.

Die lo, now i have many things undone.
2 GP essays.
5 econs essay outline.
I need my A! badly. ):

I need to study inorganic chem. since now i'm not bad at organic alr!(YAY!)


blog again soon.
YAY! tmr going out with zookeeper! :D


die die die at 7:49 PM

sigh.
dont view me as though im a mugger!!


but oh my, it's time that i start.


sick! at 6:17 PM

i am really really really sick.
):


): at 5:47 PM

FangLin has fallen sick. =/
Sneeze! =/


AMAZING! at 10:12 PM

it's amazing how i dont use the net when im home today. HAHAHA!
(:
hur, i am glad to have another good friend! GABRIEL! (:
my zookeeper. someone who i knew for perhaps 3 yrs?
Oh well, hope he's doing fine.


I still got lots of work to do! ciao! :D


Staying positive is the key!


another song for another person. at 11:46 PM

another song for another friend. (:
well, not that i only have one true friend but then when this song was playing there's only one person that appear in my mind. SO pardon me the rest of my friends! ((:

but LEO NARDO! this song is for you!! I've post up this song before actually but then now, when i listen again, one person just pop up my mind u see! therefore! here's the lyrics again! ((:


Miley Cyrus-True Friend

We sign our cards and letters B.F.F
You've got a million ways to make me laugh (yeah)
Your looking out for me you've got my back
It's so good to have you around

You know the secrets I could never tell
And when I'm quiet you break through my shell
Don't feel the need to do a rebel yell
Cause you keep my feet on the ground

You're a True Friend
You're here till the end
You pull me aside when something ain't right
You talk with me now and into the night
Till it's alright again
Your a True Friend

You don't get angry when I change the plans
Somehow you're never out of second chances
Won't say ''I told you'' when I'm wrong again
I'm so lucky (yeah) that i found

A True Friend
You're here till the end
You pull me aside when something ain't right
You talk with me now and into the night
Till it's alright again

True Friends will go to the ends of the earth
To find the things you need
Friends hang on through the ups and the downs
Cause they've got someone to believe in

Although i don't know whether he will get to see this post. i hope he will.


to you! at 11:06 PM

when i was hearing this song... i just want to dedicate to one person in my life! LOL!
my important friend, army guy. ((:

you know sometimes i may make you pissed, i may make you feel so irritated, i may make you feel like strangling me or smth. you know i really think that i've like took away ur freedom a lil. and recently i found out that i've actually been a lil demanding. so,well, i just want to apologise. and i'll make it a point that it will not happen again alright? cos i really think it's too much till im like on the verge of scaring you. (: You know, time spent with you maybe really lil that's why i will always find time to go out with you. so well, sorry if i've been taking up quite a no. of ur free hrs when you book out. But nevertheless, i hope i've brought a lil joy into ur life. a lil colours. and a lil love! (:

so... here's part of the lyrics.
"You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I won't let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
.
.

I know that you are something special
To you, I'd be always faithful
I want to be
What you always needed
Then I'll hope you see the heart in me
.
.
You might need time to think it over
But I'm just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind if you give me the chance
I'll never make you cry c'mon let's try[not really applicable, maybe change to.... i'll never make you sad? that's for sure. (:]
.
.
Am I crazy for wanting you
Maybe do you think you could want me too
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know that you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide"

<3


nah, i dont like it. at 5:47 PM

i don't like how you would not say hi to me.
i don't like it when you totally ignore me.

i just need a lil more.
a lil, lil more.


i just need a lil. at 2:19 PM

a lil more care.
a lil more love.
a lil more concern.
a lil more attention.


i just need that a lil more. that 1% more.
i'll be satisfied.


don't like it. at 9:07 AM

the change was unexpected and it happened unknowingly. Please do not blame me.

it happen like perhaps a month ago. or 3 weeks? roughly there i can't remember.

After that my phone has been silent.
Text i usually send to people has cut down tremendously.
Text i usually get to receive has also cut down tremendously.

So same goes,
the smile on my face has cut down by a few folds too.
There's a difference between smiling happily and smiling.
(oh well, if you get what i mean.)


Anyway,
so before i sleep, i think about alot alot of things again.
HAHAHA! please do not ask me why i think so much.
but anyway, things came into place.
Now, i shall just study hard! and get into the course i want. =]
everything shall just wait. however something isn't on hold. =]
i will still try to find out what's wrong with bff and me. =/
and i still hope to get back to the past.
other than that, everything is on hold! ((: So people, no, you! wait for me! 59 more days! please please please! Do not miss me so much okayyy? And don't forget me! uhhh~


I want to be a not boring person. i don't know how.
OMG!


Alright i'm off. (what else can i do? i need to study!)


bcos of you. at 9:42 PM

bcos of you, i teared again.


Leisure Park at 8:38 PM

Met Leo and Zhi Xian early in the morning for my ice milo breakfast and then play arcade. ((: And then met ZR to leisure park. Now Leo and ZR are like "best friends" wthhhhh~ crazy people. nonono! better not. cannot. HAHAHA!
i love playing arcade basketball. it's so cooool! (:


so that's basically what i did.
I thought i will be out late. =/


When i was on my way home, i was thinking of many things.
And i seriously say many. and then i put me in such a sad mood.
Am i really so boring??
it saddens me actually. I will not make a good girlfriend, will i?
it just makes me want to give up everything which is usually not my character.
it has been a yr plus. uh, i've no more "exciting" moves to use to touched his heart.
All i have is a true and sincere heart which apparently love him so much but at the same time isn't helping me much.
oh well, of cos i'm not giving up. but sometimes i really really think, maybe it will be better off to stay this way but at the same time i really hope for smth more. irony AGAIN.



I am just a sad soul tonight.
making me so confusing.
so many things i am suppose to carry and i am FALLING.


someone just drop me a sms and ask me to smile please.


at 8:08 AM

Early in the morning, i climb out of my bed thinking to myself.
Okay, i need to do chemistry before i leave my house to meet armyguy.
but then, here i am blogging. how irony...

The reason is because i'm feeling this something....

As i was reading his blog, i was thinking... majority of our lifetime we are feeling sad. Is it true? I'm not sure though.You see sometimes feeling sad is also a blessing. I don't know why i think so la. =/
Most of us are of cos feeling stress most of the times, fact that we spend our lifetime either studying or in the future, working. Of course stress will eventually be part of our life. URGHHH~
Sad? you wouldn't get sad over something without a 3rd person causing it right? not 3rd person or.. just something.


Back to school life, now that everyone in my class treats me as though like i am some crazy person who mugs like hell and that they do not believe that i don't know quite alot of things is making me crazy! LOL! I mean, i do know the concepts ROUGHLY, but not entirely. So sometimes i say i don't know how to explain to you, it's not that i don't want to share, it's just that... i really don't know about it.
Oh man, i am not so selfish okay. Crazy, i also want the class to progress right? But well, our class ain't the last in cohort anymore. OOops, it's our neighbour. =/
Prelim seriously screwed most of our life. Lots of us maybe thinking of giving up already. But, since we are already here... Just go all the way. Who knows, miracle might happen? It's like.. i'm one of the last few people in cohort for GP, but at this point of time, i am not giving up just yet. i'll just read more and more and more. Tat's all i can do to help myself. I am still hoping for a D! i need it. =/ DESPERATELY.


I need tuition, but i don't want to go to my cousin for tuition. It's weird. Really weird, and i don't want him to think that i am stupid. =/ i mean he probably wouldn't. but.... i don't know la.


After saying all these, sometimes i just feel like running away from everything.



And after saying all these, i still feel sad.
I don't know what has happened to us. Why are we so far away from each other already? =/ oh man, i'm trying to salvage it. really.


RANDOM!!! at 8:32 PM

HAHAHAHA! okay, listening to the following.
it's a nice song but by AWFUL singer like me! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
OMG! i laughed when i was listening to it again! WAHAHAHAHA!



OKAY! LAUGH!!! LOL! DE-STRESS! HAHAHAHA!


crap. at 8:32 PM

My earphone is spoiling too. OMG! ):
and i really really need a mp3. ):
i am not surviving without music. ):

Yaya, so many sad faces right? I am so sad lo.
URGHHHHH~

Life is so difficult now. Making me crazy.
Everytime or rather every week there's only one thing that i look forward to.
Sometimes i blame myself for being so not interesting. ):
blame myself for always being so silent.
like, i want to be there for you...... uh..
i don't know.. i just feel lousy. =/

bff is so far away from me. =/
i don't know.
people seems to get further away from me.
why why why?

i am feeling very f* =/

i apologise for being so vulgar recently.


emo at 6:28 PM

i love armyguy! lots! (:


turning crazy. at 4:44 PM

i am turning crazy.
JIAYOU! i know i can make it. i know i can! :D


i hate the feeling. at 5:59 PM

Everything i say i don't want to bother, don't want to talk about it or anything.. i think i'm just surpressing my own feelings. For so many times i want people to hear me out, to comfort me then again, i run away from reality.


I've been thinking through a lot these days ranging from homework to friends.
I don't know how to express this feeling. It just seems like i'm losing everyone.
Cut the crap. Don't point your fingers at anyone. The more i think of it, the more pissed i get.


Aiya, shall not post about it anymore. I shall run to the person i want to whine to.
if you really want to hear me whine, sms me, call me..... or anything. talk to me on msn.


Hate the mask i'm putting to school everyday.
SMILE SMILE SMILE. HELLO, i don't feel right AT ALL.



on the lighter note,
i got another pen from Mr Tan for topping econs with Dev. (:
hohoho! i think this is the.......4th pen i've got from him. this yr has been really great. Got like... 2nd, best improvement than top. YES, i hope A level will get A! (: Mr Tan said.. "fast is actually slow while slow is actually fast...!" Yes, however speed i am, i will improve. (:


It's this small lil thing that happen that makes my day.
although there are many more major unhappy things, just let me focus on these small lil things. for example like... msg that came unexpectedly. (:
Yupp.




I think i'm ready to give you an answer if you ask again. LOL! and i hope you are serious! (: <33


lalala~ at 6:20 PM


I MISS YOU!

Hello people! (:
Exams are again round the corner, i'm saying both A level and Pre-A level.
Oh well, which i think that it's a stupid thingy to do. The fact that they are not marking the paper just totally turns me off. If you say that they are marking, i will be more than happy to study really well for it.
[alright, i'm just feeling a lil bitchy]


Anyway, got back to school. Got myself ready for another crazyyy week and it was indeed crazy. Okay, maybe not really. Maths tutorial was of cos enriching. Surprisingly, i listen to chem lect and absorb lots of thing. Gp was time trial. That's it for the day. Didn't had to go for Econs Remedial. I also don't want to go cos it's on DD&SS.


Got home quite early, went for a lil nap. And then here i am blogging.
now i shall start to do my work. I think this gonna be my routine, but as time draw nearer, i think even my nap also must cutttt le! (:
Oh well, i've got lots of things to do now.
Econs 4 essays VERY detailed outline.
Maths sequence method of difference integration technique, integration application.
physics ACSi paper.
Chem another set of paper.
GP my AQ correction.

I have Mrs Pah consultation tomorrow.
Mr Andrew consultation this week too.
=/

OH my.. Pack pack pack!

I can't wait for THURSDAY to hear YOU again!
<3
your call came as a surprise which makes me really happy. Thank you.


ALright. i'm off. take care people.


)): at 6:05 AM

Early in the morning at 6am! i'm gonna say.... OMGGGG!
another crazy week is gonna start! I hope thurs come quick. and must be really quick!
Alright blog later!


doom. at 3:15 PM

Well, FangLin feels very doom. )):
I don't know what to say.


HAPPY GIRL! ((: at 12:32 AM

Studied a little today afternoon and then went out to meet my...(no, not my. LOL!) armyguy for movie! WALL-E . IT IS SUPER CUTEEEEEE~

So i left house at 6.15 and reach AMK at 7.05. can you believe it? it took less than an hr! not bad huh? ((: so ya, he was late! =/ tsk tsk! HAHAHAHA! I am a patient girl, i don't get pissed waiting. lol. but i felt so lonely there though. so i took out my reaction kinetics book to do. (am i lame or what?!) so yupp, we enter the theatre ard 5 mins late. and we got the whole row to ourselves! i chose it you see. LOL! So yupp. WALL E IS SUPER DUPER CUTEEEE~ and the storyline is nice too. (:


Well, my phone really died on me. as in the fact that it can only function with my memory card out of my phone. and yes this is irritating. the fact that i have no more mp3 and i depend on my phone, i really feel so....LONELY without my phone songs too. SIGH! )): oh well, so i think im gonna take it to service soon. tomorrow? Yupp. UH, i will be phoneless then. the fact that my sister lost phone again.. i have no more spare phone already. SIGHHHH~

Oh and it's 1 plus now. Time fly really fast. was playing with my ds and now it's already past 1. omg! uh, i need to sleep now already.


FANGLIN IS A HAPPY GIRL! ((:


p/s: just wait! 65 more days later, i will get the jigsaw puzzle for you. i promised! (: ohh... i did not reply your qns again....sorryyy. HEYYYY, i dont answer qns that has a obvious answer!!! LOL! actually no. i shy. HAHAHAH! (: You... get what i mean? HAHAHA! Well, love you lots.


at 4:18 PM



I love my friends! ((: I think this is a very nice picture and it's my phone current wall paper!


Talking about phone.....
My very pro sister can actually lost 2 phones in A MONTH! WOAHHHHHH~ can you believe it? nt bad right? AIYAAAA~ and now my Motorola phone is like failing me! SUCKKKKKK~ )): how sia! I didn even drop or anything la. i have been loving this phone and taking good care of it. now i can't do anything with it. ): I think it's because of the memory card sia! OMG! )))): IM SO DYINGGGGG LA~

please phone, do not die on me. i have been very nice to you. I did not even scratch any part of you~ )))): Don't break my heart.


at 7:56 PM


OHMAN! 郑元畅 is sooooo cute! ((:



5 more weeks left in school. ]=
Prepared?! Prepared?! no, i am not.


Many feelings i am feeling AGAIN.
but who's there to listen?
tired.
tired.
tired.


Anyway, FANGLIN IS REALLY HAPPY THAT HER NAME APPEARED ON ECONS LECT TODAY! YOU KNOW LIKE......ONE OF THE TOP SCORER FOR ESSAY for BOTH part A and B! YAYYYY! Like.. one for 8/10. and one for 11/15! =]]]] well, i know it's nth much.. but then ah... to see your name is like really woah.... cos it's like... no more chance you will see it. and it's like once in a lifetime! and of cos you do your teacher proud!(: i hope i did 2S21 proud too! we arent that bad okay! S21 will prove everyone wrong and do well. ((:


Nowadays, feeling very insecure. Like something bad gonna happen.
Been really down. Keep having bad headaches. ): Can't even sleep at night.
Keep waking up every single hr. ):
In school must absorb everything... must maintain myself.
Everything now must force force force. Things are well, but are FORCED to be well too. When's the last time you see my true smile? =/


SMILE. SMILE.
Always ask people to SMILE. but who will be the one that come and actually ask me to smile? =/
Life is downnnnn. down. down. down.
PANIC. super Panic. =/ What to do? What to do? I am doom. very doom.
peace. i need peace...



Eventually,
I need a hug.


stress ah! at 6:21 PM

Another day has past. This means that another day nearer to A level.
Yes, i am feeling very doom. I was thinking... i know i will work hard for A level i mean i am already doing so... but what if in the end i pass all h2 but fail my GP?! what am i going to do? SIGH! i really don't know what to do now. )):


In the state of.......lost?!

Blog again on weekend i suppose. no mood. and i need to study!


love. at 9:23 PM

First week of school gonna end soon. Now everyday, i just want to go to school and learn as much as i can. You can say that i finally push my panic button on. Or you simply can say that Prelim results simply woke me up.

Well apparently, to my classmates, to my close friends(as in friends ard me), to them, my results may seems wonder already. no, it is not. I rather choose to listen to my mum's words. "you better continue to work hard if you really want to get into the university" yes, it's true and it's very true. With this grade, i think...... no one would want me. You see, the class i am in.. 2S21 has been the last in cohort regardless for what subject we have always been the last. (maybe not for maths) So today, when Mr Ang went thru the results analysis with the class, you could see the joy in us that yes, we finally made an improvement! We are finally not the last, of cos, i'm not saying that we make a big improvement, we just merely improve by 1 position. Yes, smart people may be laughing at our stupidity(or whatever you want to say).. however, it's the effort that the class put in. It's the time we spend to study. However, Mr Ang said something too, we work as a team, as a SRJC Chem unit. Therefore we should beat our "enemies" down. and not just compete amongst the classes.


Well, true enough. Then again, people in school are already so competitive. There are even people who look down on others. SIGH! anyway, back to my point. I know my prelim results arent those that i should be going like "YAY! i am happy!" I mean, i am indeed happy for myself the fact that i have improved. Not big improvement though.
You know the joy is of cos passing the subjects, but at the same time, you really hope that your friend work hard with you. For example i got a E for maths. Well, of cos i did not expect myself to get a E la, i was hoping for a C or smth?! so ya, to others i should be happy cos i pass but then i am definitely not. Somemore, i can't show that side out or else friends would be thinking... "what the hell, u already pass already, what more do you want?" I mean, i can't just say..."a pass is not enough, i am greedy, i need my AB." how mean can i get?! So of cos i have to stay happy, WHICH IS NOT MY TRUE SIDE.


You know i was thinking what makes me study so hard.... there are obviously many many different reasons. Well, i am a very simple person. I just want to work hard, find a guy to marry, have a stable job and have a happy family! ((: Of cos, i would want to open my own childcare or smth la. SO SIMPLE RIGHT?! But it's hard to fulfill it in the first place. To get it started, i need my degree. I need to get into university. Yes, this is how greedy i need it now. Well, to others i may seem like someone who doesnt study hard enough... and to some i am like some hardcore mugger. Truth is that, i am not a harcore mugger, neither do i study very hard... neither do i not study. Yes, i study, but then.. it's only the surface. It's like, you ask me qns, i can answer you. I can explain to you... but then.. i just don't know it well. Yes, that's it. Thinking of it, i think i am a lil failure. 54 days to A level, shouldn't i be at least 70% prepared??


The journey has been tough. Of course, i did want to give up numerous time. But now, i guess that i can't. My back up plan will not work and yes, i do feel very sad about it. but who can i tell? Who can i safely keep my problems with.... no one. Or rather... someone.. but he just seems so far from me already. I come from a not so wealthy family... or should i say actually poor? My household monthly income is <$3000. Comparing to you guys, i think....... is this 20% of your parents pay?? Perhaps. I used to learn piano lesson i stopped it because i was busy with student council and now, A level. Yes, i hope that i can learn back piano. But i guess, i do not have the capability anymore. My mum says that she can't support me financially for that and she ask me... whether i can work next time and then pay for myself. Of cos, i had to say okay. The moment she told me that, i just felt so........ low. It's the feeling that i don't want to feel. it's like, you thought of a backup plan and it will not work. you see, that's my only talent and my only path left. What else can i do? Tuition teacher?! Waitress?! of cos not. Sigh. Therefore, i need to get into university because i DO NOT have a backup plan anymore.

I just feel this sad feeling within me. It is definitely not cause by results. It is this feeling that i can't say. Perhaps, many problems within me that i don't know who to tell to. Like i say in previous post(not the recent previous, but really behind previous), i need a shoulder for me to cry on bcos this stress is really too huge for me to carry. This load is... taxing.


Of cos, while all this problem arises, someone still constantly pops up in my mind. Armyguy. [one of the reason why im studying soooooo hard]
It has been a yr since this feeling started and i know it has not died. Sometimes i ask myself whether is it a good or bad thing? i figure out that.. it actually made me grow. sometimes, being there for you really makes me happy. I still remember the days before you enter army. Or rather, the days when we first started talking on the phone. The long hrs of chat, the many smses. and the crazy me trying to see you in school(you know like.... track your classroom venue, NO I AM NOT INSANE/DESPO/OR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO SAY). Oh well, everything seems so yesterday. oops! The days where i always look out for you early in the morning at the canteen table. All this just seems so crazy and unbelievable. Days after your A level, days before you first book in to tekong... days after you went tekong, days after you pop from tekong and now.... everything seems like changing.. calls from you will only come when you book out or when you are free.. smses too. Well, sometimes i think it's a good thing. it makes me think of you more. It makes me treasure everycall more, it makes me treasure every moment with you more. (okay now it makes me sound like a freak.) I am not!!! Anyway, oh well, i can't believe i am saying this on my blog again....
EVERYTHING CHANGES BUT I KNOW SOMETHING DID NOT!
I love you the same way[okay, perhaps a lil lil more each day!]
I will always pray to G.Y.M for you. SMILE my dearest friend! ((:


Oh well, so many problems but i guess i still have to be strong and continue on.


there's a mood that i should feel........ den it would be.... =/


using iPhone at 12:08 PM

hello! I'm using vonny's iPhone to bloggg omg la so cool can! 你好，很好玩。要去上课了。再见


this weird feeling. at 5:49 PM

I am not thinking too much.
We are just different already.


HAPPY OR SAD? at 7:28 PM

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.
I told myself to be serious. I told myself that i should start studying.
But.. i chiong home to slp.
Best for myself la. omg.


Anyway, tomorrow i think will get back econs. I think ah, i will just cry or smth. The answer and mine so different. I don't even dare to look at it anymore la. I am so sad lo. )): Has it hit me or am i just pretending now? OMG! i don't know la.
My mind is in such a mess and that the weather is so hot(okay, random).
Armyguy book in already. He just left without even calling me or saying a word or smsing me! URGHHHH~ angry siaaaa~ HAHAHAHA!



I think tomorrow i will post a very emo post or something. AIYAAA, i just ain't feeling right and i don't know who to tell la. Or rather i want to tell.... but that person just dont seem close to me anymore. I DONT KNOW LA!


G.Y.M save me please.


HELLO! at 5:54 AM

Alright, i had a terrible night last night. )):
I went to bed at a very very early timing.. at 10PM.. guess what, i only manage to slp at 12! omggg la! I couldn't fall aslp........ SIGHHHHH~
AND THEN! i woke up at 1AM with this terrible stomach ache!!! )))))):
And i felt so hot around when the aircon is blowing at me. CRAZY RIGHT? )))):
SO..then i fell aslp ard2+.... AND I WOKE UP AGAIN AT 3+++ i dreamt that i scalded NGIAM AND SIO! OMGG LA! (details will tell you when i come back from school.)

In the end, i fell aslp at 4. THEN,I WOKE UP AT 5:30. now, here i am blogging after i bath and everything.OMGGG LA. NOW i feel so tired. Just hope that later lecture i will not fall aslp. )): And my eyes look so swollen now. SIGHHHHHHHHH~


Oh well,
I had my fun yest, so like i promise, i shall mug hard from now on.
SO i guess, i will complain like almost everyday at like all the subject.
I just simply suck at everything mayb except econs and maths(QUITE SHAKY THOUGH)
OH MAN. lessons gonna start in 2 hrs?!?!

Here i am missing someone badly and that i feel really bad that i couldn't talk to him on the phone when he called me at 2+AM. hey, i am sorry. You should know how badly i want to talk to you. URGHHHH~ ))))): I think from now on, i will also not have lots of time to even take a whole day for you! So, perhaps a lunch or dinner lo! SO PLEASE LEAVE A SLOT FOR ME EVERYTIME YOU BOOK OUT PLEASE! If not i will just die from not being in contact with you..... =/


OH well, it's 6. and now that i need to go off.



ALL THE BEST TO ALL.
It's THE LAST SEMESTER, the LAST LAP!
it's either you do it or you don't!!!! ((:



AH! I HOPE PRELIM RESULTS WILL BE FINE(fine as in my expectation for now, not some WOAHHHHH results!)



When shall we be together?


SUNDAY! at 9:25 PM

Such a wonderful sunday.
Well, i slept at ard 3++ AM and i woke up at godly hour! HAHAHA! 11AM!
Was supposed to study, but i made use of my last weekend very well.
Met up with Zhanrui at compass ard 2. AND I CABBED DOWN. omgggg....
i don't usually cab. but........ ))): So well, nevermind. it's a happy thing cos i get to see him la. Played arcade. i tell u ah, it's like him playing only la. But oh well, i just wanted to see him, so it's alright.
AND NO, i am not obsessed with him. Just that..... you know.


Left him around 3+ to meet leo and bob to PLAY ARCADE! can you imagine that! HAHAHA! YEs, i spend alot on arcade today. not only that, spend alot today actually la. Like Cab, Arcade, Dinner. OMG! BROKE FOR THE WEEK AGAIN! )): so yea, i met them at hougang! AND YOU KNOW WHAT... we went to compass in the end. OMG LA! -.- waste my money take train! LOL! AND I SAW MY BOSS(i think his name was marc)! as in ex boss. You know i was working as tele-Surveyer?! the other time right. like after O level. Yupp, i saw him. I don't think he remember me la. so sad, oops! I didn know he had a tattoo on his leg la! hahaha! And i saw the tall tall guy also. forget his name la.


Well, so yupp. played arcade fURTHER on. AND THENNNNNNNN~ ZR was coming to compass with his family... and and and, i dont know why i just went up to say hi to them and wish his bro happy birthday! but his bro was so shy. OMG LA! and felt abit weird cos i did not get anything for him.... oh well... and i said smth damn wrong(no,it's not wrong. just that i actually didn believe it came out from my own mouth!!) so yupp. After that had KFC for dinner and tadah. i am home.


I shall slp early! Tomorrow!!! SCHOOL STARTS AND!!!!! CHIONG AH! ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!


alright. Till then! ((:


ALL THE WAY! at 10:20 PM

坚持到底

在水里在火里
我的爱不偏不倚
就算时光倒回去
我也追到石器世纪
在风里在雨里
你的雨伞吹翻过去
我绝对毫不犹豫
为你披上我的外衣

是你让我看透生命这东西
四个字--坚持到底
如果没有你
我的生活回到一片狼藉
是你让我翻破爱情的秘笈
四个字--坚持到底
不管有多苦
我会全心全力爱你到底


Hello! (:

Okay, i actually sit down and studied chemistry today. Can you believe it? HAHA!!
So yupp, i was alone at home in the afternoon, sis and mum went to John Little Sales at expo. And then, meanwhile, i pack my table. OMG! it was so messy till i have no space to study...
JUST LOOK!


HOW TO STUDY! it was worst then this.. this was when i pack halfway! SOOOO! I pack nicely and clear a cupboard for all those sch's paper, revision qns, tys all those books la! and i pack nicely lo... SO IT END UP!!!!
.
.
.
.
.

NOT BAD RIGHT! still quite messy but still got place for me to study already lo! ((: WAHAHA!


Well, today i finally feel abit the same again! ((: YAY!
SAy that i think too much, i did not. because it was the truth la. but nevermind..
My prayer always work and im happy. YAYYY! I know my G.Y.M. loves me like alot too. =XX
oh well, it's saturday night meaning army guy book out le. But oh well, i hope i can get to talk to him though. =]


Tomorrow shall do chemistry and then econs 2nd DRQ before i head down to meet bob and leo ba. And and and i promise not to go out anymore when sch reopen. Besides, i have jiawen as my study partner already. ((: And, Fanghan! perhaps she would stay, i'm not sure though. Oh well~~ LOOK, I WANT NTU BADLY. Well, some people must be laughing when i say this, but then.... i am not gonna give up like any soon! At least let me fight this battle. Well, if i really cannot make it.. Of cos, i have my back up plan. SO well, at least i have plan right? (:


Anyway, gonna catch up with my .... "they kiss again" HAHA! JIANG ZHI SHU is jus so hot la! omg! =X however i dont like the story already. like got another guy den he jealous it's so..... i dont like. =[


Was talking to leo about childhood. And i realised i changed alot.
You know like last time when i am young, i would dare to watch horror movie like without covering and everything. i have no idea why, now i don't dare and that i will always cover. Funny right? And also, last time i not scare of lizards, now im freaking scared! Like you know i will keep the lizard egg. those tiny egg and wait for it to hatch, now.... i see already i'll scream at the top of my lungs! OMG! why have i become so timid??


Tomorrow gonna play my heart out. Stress, i am going to shoot everyone like no one's business. I'm gonna race till no one business too! i'm gonna shoot balls too! Last of all, i think i need to get pen. HAHAHA! should i or should i not?


I've learnt to be a really open-heart person. like every problem i will see the bright side. It was only after someone told me... "you should trust me" Whoever you think you are, thank you.


Anyway, Rina told me something the other day..."Saying that someone assume stuff is the quickest way to end something" Is it true? I'm quite clueless about this point though. I learnt not to doubt people you see. Am i really fine already or am i pretending to be fine? SIGH~



Ever wonder what is at the other end of the rainbow?
People always say... there will be sunshine after the rain...but, what's after the sunshine?? Storm?
Oh well, a smile is a curve that would definitely sets everything straight. But, sometimes, it's just too difficult to smile.


AND NOPE, I'M NOT EMOING!
i just tried to emo but fail terribly, i think! HAHAHAHA! ((:


I am a happy kid now. Fact that......
armyguy is OUT OF CAMP! HAHAHA! ((:




I CAN'T WAIT FOR SCHOOL TO START TO SEE MY RESULTS. GOOD OR BAD, IT WILL HIT ME HARD! =/



p/s: G.Y.M. i pray that everything will get better! thank you.


weird. at 11:01 AM

Well, ain't feeling right after tuesday.
Not even when my bestfriend returned. Well, no idea why.
Unnecessary feelings?? Not sure.


Oh well, it's okay, i shall studyy! ((: I believe everything will return back to the norm soon. Oh well, i can't seem to get the convo going. Pardon me.
So many thoughts, so little that i can say. Later people misunderstand again. -.-


Well, i really don't like people who will tell others what i tell them.
really dont like.


at 10:04 PM


电话响起了
你要说话了
还以为你心里对我又想念了
怎么你声音变得冷淡了
是你变了


YAY! tomorrow is saturday. Even though i think i can't meet army guy, as long as he is out and he is like enjoying his life, i am happy already. ((:
So tomorrow, shall be the day where i shall study study study and nth else.
okay maybe i would watch shows in the night la. but then again, i will study.
And, i will try to study at home. Anyone proud of me? :p


Anyway, today went out with BOB to get stuff. Lunch at pasta mania-ohohoh! my potato salad. my fav!! ((: and then movie with leo, bob, zx. 4BIA! omgggg~ So scary okayy. actually not really la. I like the 3rd story the most!! It's like so sweet la, their friendship. but then again ah.. i was covering the whole time.. so.. HAHAHAHA! but nice la. hmmm, now i want to watch wall-e/ my sassy girl or cyborg she. LOL! MOVIE ANYONE?! i have like sunday left i think. OOPS!
So, after movie went arcade for a while and LIONEL came! oh, did i mention i think he is cute? HAHAHA! yupyup. He came to meet claud but she was uber late. Dinner at foodcourt with leo, zx, bob and claud. I FEEL SO LIGHTBULB OKAY! den it's like odd no. den feel so left out okay! HAHAHAHA! nono, i was just joking! :p


THAT WAS HOW I SPENT MY SAT!

this is some...starwars person. LOL!


WALL-E! LOL! SO CUTEEE! MY BOYFRIEND! :D
CARMELLA, dont jealous! :p



ZHIXIAN! LOL!


Anyway, some random photo.


I WANT TO BE LIKE PERFECT HOUSEWIFE in the future, so i decided to cook.
but it was super tasteless.and i forget to off the fire! YAY! I am so successful!
LOL!


NO idea for this photo. Aiyaaa, sky is so DARK. similar to mine?! )):



DO I LOOK SMARTTTT? Look so studious righttt? OMGG! :p



SUNBURNT!!! )):


well, tat's all.
blog again soon. ((:


at 10:01 PM

别管以后将如何结束
至少我们曾经相聚过
不必费心地彼此约束
更不需要言语的承诺
只要我们曾经拥有过
对你我来讲已经足够
人的一生有许多回忆
只愿你的追忆有个我

this is a nice song!
it's such a old song but then i heard it on westside story and then heard it again in the "they kiss again" show. so well, i think it's really really nice and meaningful.


Tomorrow is friday! This means that one more day till armyguy book out! YAYYY!
I doubt i can see him this time lo. =[ oh well, he is forever busy with many people to meet and also cause school's starting already. PRELIM RESULTS! JIALAT LA! Oh no, then when is the next time i can see him? 75 days later??? nonono, i will find time.
I hope.


Today wasn't really productive. Did 1 drq and 1 topic of maths only. And the rest was spent eating, slping, watching tv. and like feeling the happiness. although there was a lil sadness. but i dont know how to explain lo.


anyway, Bob is so cute okay, he say i zhong she qing you cos some one got <33 behind. HAHAHAHA! aiyooo, so funny la. (:

ANYWAY! just got my time table and and, this is the best time table! OMG! IT RAWKS la! LIKE you know..... school for me starts at like 1030 on fri and ends at 1230! LOL! wthhh right? 1:30 is my latest time to go home however there's a day with CT period that ends at 3! and i have lots of break in between. Like on wednesday i have 2 lessons only with a break from 9-12:30! OMG! It's a total WOW! =XX
but there's a chem lect of 2 hrs. becos they scrape off chem tutorial. omggg. )):
GP tutorial is left with a 1.5hrs. hmmm.. not sure about h1 physics whether there is still lect or not. =/
Oh man, i love my timetable if i know how to make use of it fully. Then again, i scare in class later people play cards and everything again. SIGH! ))):
AS A WHOLE IT RAWKZ! without all those adding on lessons first. LOL! ((:


Alright, i think i shall blog tomorrow. I am quite determine to cut hair tmr!
BLOG AGAIN!


i pray and hope that everything will be fine for all of us.


OH YAY! at 10:33 AM

FangLin is a happy kid.
Best friend is BACK! (((((:

Will anything change, i don't know and i hope not.

Oh well, so much to tell him but then... i guess should not.


THEN AGAIN! I'M JUST REALLY HAPPY NOW! ((:
Suddenly all my troubles seem to be gone!


but then again, soon i will feel it.


OFF TO FH'S HSE!
BLOG THERE I HOPE! :D


NEW BLOG! at 9:19 PM




悲哀。

我的英文不是说很好， 所以常常被人误会。累了，不是我的错也变成我的错了。
懒得去解释，懒得去管了。

还是用我的母语来BLOG吧！
这样也很少人会去读，很少人会去管。
自己开心就好了! 可是还是很难过！

很多事在转来转去，闷死了!
亲爱的在哪里？？ 快点BOOKOUT！

人生就是那么短暂，所以啊，我们应该要过的充实！


so boring, chinese is so difficult to blog too!
Anyway, im in love with Cj7! hahaha! well, i went to watch it with someone what! tat's why! WAHAHAHA! :p

Past few days weren't smooth. I miss bestfriend. I miss armyguy.

you know, after going out with army guy ah, i found out, maybe truth is, im really in love with him and that i don't know how to not love him anymore. And, omg, although he isn't feeling this way, i bet he......[ah, nevermind]
I have waited for him for like a yr plus and i think i applaud myself for my courage, my perseverance and everything. (: Although in the process i had tried to give up, i had fell in love with someone else. but then again, it bound back to this fella here who got me so crazily in love with him. HAHAHA! and i can't believe i just blog about this. oops!

I shouldn't say anything yet, but i guess i should trust him and that i trust that he actually missed me! =P

Oh well, he isn't a bad guy okay. He did not ask me to wait for him and that i wait for him because i am willing to. Well, the thing is.... i am having A level this yr right? Shouldn't let anything affect me, so, he shall not be one of the reason too. BUT THEN AGAIN ah, he always give me the motivation. His words of encouragement. Everything just makes me want to study. Although i am not as smart as him, as hardworking as him, i guess i can still score somewhere near him right??? WELL I HOPE SO, THEREFORE I SHALL STUDY HARDDDD! AND REALLY REALLY HARD! XD!

Anyway, today stayed at home because wasn't feeling right. The fact that i did not sleep at all, the fact that i couldn't sleep, the fact that my heart and head is aching..... Sorry LIM FANGHAN for not studying with you! oops, don't miss me la, tomorrow going to meet you righttt? :p


I AM A CANCERIAN. I get jealous easily.
I have a huge moodswing.
You shall appreciate me for who i am. ((:

Okay, i don't really know why i said that. Haha, i am random. I know.


I LOVE BOB FOR STAYING UP WITH ME!
I LOVE CLAUDIA FOR CHEERING ME UP!
I LOVE FANGHAN FOR HER CHIRPY CHARACTER!
I LOVE LEO FOR MAKING ME MISS HIM LIKE CRAZY!
last of all, I LOVE ZHANRUI deepdeep! <33

I MISS AMANDA NGIAM.
I MISS KHAI.
I MISS MINHUA.
I MISS JUNGYI.
I MISS MY 7 SISTERS!


Oh, btw, i was watching Westside Story! (eh, Ngiam, don't laugh sia. i know what you are thinking!) omg la, after rewatching so many times ah, i still love ittttt~ LOTS!

Okay, guess i've blog too much already.

Hmmm, blog again later if i feel like ya? (:


WITH LOVE!