Hi (:
My name is FANGLIN and I rawkz!
Twenty-one candles on the 26th June '11. I ♥ Singing, Laughing, and Stoning.

FRIENDS
is the bomb.
i love love love my friends TTM!
xoxo


withlotsof♥♥♥♥




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i have got to STOP coughing. (random title) at 11:44 PM

I DRINK TOO MUCH COLD WATER TODAY I THINK! ):

anyway, went to oub to work today. the aircon machiam FREE. super super super cold!
even w my jacket also damnnn cold! ):
thank you Ben for the honey red tea for both me and esther, cos he doesnt want to be bias. :P
*Wink*
it's great when you know... people appreciate you. SERIOUSLY.
they were like.. "OMG, you guys are here! like we finally get to see you guys! and come together somemore! thank you for all your help!" not just that... we see our number in their contact list.
feel appreciated, REALLY. (: it's long since I feel this way. =X
not that i don't feel appreciated @ ps. just that, maybe to ps colleagues.. they are already used to our help, it became like.. a... we have got to help.. kinda thing.


it's FEB in a few more minutes!
I really got to start to mug already. not just that, I have smth left undone! :)
AND I WILL FINISH IT FOR SURE! :) not gonna give up like how i did last time!
CNY is really coming and.. and and and and....... i will get to see my BFF REALLY soon!
because I am excited that i want to hug him for 5 mins! LOL! okay, machiam like my boyfriend. :P




so yes, i decided that you aren't the sun, nt the moon either.. but the star. :)))) 




am i a good friend? at 12:27 AM

just a random thought.


Today someone ask me about HPY like his gd points and bad points etc.
somehow, i'm just thinking....
how do you get yourself a close friend? someone who you can confide to, whine to, laugh with...
It really... lead me thinking, seriously, how did i get close with HPY, or even Leo.
how come I can trust them so much?
mayb it just boils down to the way they carry themselves, the way they care, their personalities and characters.

sometimes i do doubt myself, am i a gd friend?
or, do they find me annoying? I have got to say, I don't have a lot of really close friends.
so i tend to get close to my close friends!(okay, sounds a lil retarded, but get what i mean?)
it's like... maybe im sticky? and I know, I'm quite a bias person. I will be nicer to my close friends.


okay, just a random thought tonight. because it's a cold cold night, and i have my hot milo next to me now! :D


my quite sian day! ): at 12:20 AM

work today was.. i do not know how to describe.

maybe i can say.. i got time out for both days. today time out a bit longer! =/
and i really did not know what to do during timeout today.
caught a movie w kwang and went to catch STITCH. my new love for stitch! :)
it all started on 14th dec. :) hahahaha! :D

and YAY, i got to drink ESKIMO! :DDDD
my long-missed pudding milk tea.! WOOOT~ :)
and now, my next craving is red YAKULT! omggggg! shall go get it tomorrow! =X
weird me n my weird craving!


today is qianlin last day, feel kinda sad while saying bye to her! ):
i'll miss her, seriously! ):
SIGH!


at 3:55 PM

Just felt as though we're like plaster, only needed when there's emergency.
To be honest, quite upset but what can I do? Just accept it lo.
Look from their pov, guess maybe we are just not needed.
Maybe this is a sign.


Roar! I need my 70cents ice-cream.


at 10:15 AM

back @ work again !
i remember 9.5 hrs ago, i was still outside PS in the cold cold rain waiting for cab!
but there was warmth in my heart! WAHAHAHHAHA! :)

okay, gotta work now! ciao~


i have a secret wish.... at 2:04 AM

i really don't know why, but w hpy @ work, it really feel much much different compare to without him! :)
Well at least, I know the whole day i'll be HAPPY. :)
thank you HPY, you just don't know your 魅力！WAHAHAHAHAH! :D

but have got to say, I really feel damn sian and quite moody when I know.. I can't find anyone who can switch off w hpy. )))): that's why my previous post... i said, i feel really really 闷! aiyaaaa, i really want to intro my hpy to my husband la! hahahaahha! okay, that's not the point, just that i thought... going a party w someone impt will be fun! Plus, it'll definitely be FUN! :) at least JJ's songs will get me HIGH! but, now... REALLY...... REALLY... sian lehhh! ROAR!
but anyway, HPY, dont do crazy things hor! =/ 


shopping today!
bought A LOT A LOT OF things! :)
hehehehehe! I got my own set of make up liao leh! LOL!!! though i really do not know how to apply!
I DONT KNOW IF IM A GIRL seriously! LOL!!!! =X



OH, something worth mentioning...
today i got tricked.....-.-
i REALLY though sending smses on PH is more expensive.
and that incident still stuck in my head, i must be really gullible to believe! ROAR!


okay, came home late from work today.
quite shag. no idea why also! the weather quite nice to sleep!
but too bad, in abt 8 hrs time i am back in office again!
I think I should just bring a sleeping bag there! ROAR! =/


there's something bothering me.
i don't know how to.. explain. im not sad, i just feel puzzled, and maybe somehow.. pissed off!
it'll b good if im being ignored now actually. because i got used to it in the past and now......
im turning you away. i'm sorry.


and i really think, nowadays im quite tired of my job already.
i don't feel the enthusiasm when i reply email anymore or anything else. =/
got to admit, im working because of the people there.
but of cos, i know i still have got to do my job well.



CNY is in less than a week, im sure im gonna get many questions.
hopefully i can handle them. REALLY. if not really damn sian! =X
CNY i dont want to emo la.


okay, im going to rest now!
can i drink bbtea later?????? =/
i miss TAROmilktea or maybe..... puddingmilktea! :D


nightnightnight!


the dont-know-how-to-describe feeling! at 11:22 PM

我还觉得满闷的。。 ):


at 11:37 AM

幸福是一想到你就心安!

Good day @ work! :)


Pleasant surprise for HPY! :D at 8:10 PM

Pleasant surprise for HPY! :D

nothing great BUT i was in the mood of randomly singing after school! :)

damn shaky @ the front, no need for a retake because it's the 心意 that's the most impt! :D
hpy, feel it feel it? LOL! HAHAHAHAH! :D



okay, im hungryyy! ):
waiting for dinner!


sweet sweet! :D at 1:31 PM

random: I think guys who can sing really wow me a lot. :)



Yesterday has got to be an eventful day. :)
It all started w a sweet message which got me smiling almost the whole day, which have got me the.."okay, i want to see this person for at least a min today, no matter what!" :)
anyway, I went to work because I wanted to understand some stuff @ work and wanted to talk to dearest Janet. However she wasn't at ps! ))): booo!
left @ 2pm and went to change my ATM card because I wanted to get the Visa Debit card. :) looks damn pretty, it's BLACK that's why! :D I wanted it long ago. Finally got it changed! :)
Went for Macro lecture feeling REALLY tired but I did my best to stay awake and listen to lecture!
And seriously, I did! :) I have got to say, I did fall asleep just A LIL while for like 5 mins! then i slap myself to wake up already! =) and totally love Seet and his real-life stories!
abt V day and everything! :)

After that went to 313 some jap rest to have buffet! but wasn't really in the mood for buffet also!
Nowadays dont have the appetite to have lots of food also no idea why! =/
I ko-ed after 1 plate of food, that's it! so really not worth the money IMO. =/
After the celebration of ZJ and CX's bdae, walk down to ps w CH, hamster neo, and ZXPY.
of cos, i told them, i wanted to wait for my sister that's why going back. =X
because only I know why and YOU know why! wahahahaha! :)
but realised they had SO much things to do, so helped my 小弟 and buddy for a while @ standing counter. :)
taught 小弟 how to send to BSS and helped them to terminate services. At least share a bit of their burden because ALL OF THEM LOOK SUPER STRESS esp Buddy!

I think it's one of the latest time I left office even though I'm not officially working!
left after 12am. ): like OMG! took a cab w zxpy, sis and HPY. cos after thinking for like 10 secs, we decided not to abandon HPY and ask him to share cab w us! At least, it'll be cheaper for him.
ALL OF US ARE SUCH GD FRIENDS! LOL!!!!!!! =P
Came home, was TOO tired to even blog or fb at all! so went to bed almost immediately. ;)

and today morning, someone attempted to send me a sweet message but literally fail la! got me to LOL instead! but then, really appreciate him! :) thank you ben! xD i'll help you do more tro k! wahahhaa! :P

OKAY come this part.. abt my dream. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I WILL DREAM OF SUCH A THING. but it's damn sweet SERIOUSLY! (((((((:

I dreamt that i was going oversea alone and sitting next to me on the plane was a v v v v v v v handsome guy. at least he is the type that i will go awwwww for! LOL! seriously! he got thick eyebrow. and i really dont know where i have seen this guy before! but he seems REALLY familiar. so anyway, we were talking throughout the whole flight! :) and then I have no idea why, there goes my first kiss. LOL! i know it sounds really wthwthwthwth! and then my alarm clock rang immediately after that! LIKE OMGGGG, my sweet sweet dream! LOL! okay, just sharing my oh-so-sweet dream! :)
mayb I'm secretly wishing that Mr Right to appear that's why I have such a dream!


Okay gotta leave to school soon! :D


shall blog again tonight if I got the feel! :)
and now, my internet connection sucks! using tethering! how bad can it be! ROAR!


thankyou PEIFEN! :D at 11:47 PM

I realised, whenever I study... I will listen to radio, and I'll definitely make a dedication. :)
hoping that the Dj will read it out. and this will make me listen to the radio till my dedication is out!
which means i'll keep studying. :)


HEEEEHEEEEHEEEE! :D
it's great to hear show luo's HPY on air. :DDDD


okay, this will end my moody and super 烦 day! :)
just that im sure today HPY didn't hear the dedication. but doesnt matter! :)


i miss singing. ): at 9:39 PM





I totally miss those days when I get to perform! :(

and i really really really miss singing and i really really really really want to sing! ):



IS-LM model making me really tired. ):


pissed off, near to breakdown at 1:22 PM

in the first place, I think everyone should just do their job well.
Don't expect us to clear all the shits and then come back and complain why we do this, why we do that.
It isn't our job to begin with, we were being TOO nice to help to clear everyone's nonsense.
you think 3.6K is a JOKE? come on, we spend freaking long time and many days just to clear the list.
and when we cleared, we have got complain from all of you.
not even a thanks to begin with.
how many freaking waivers we raised just because termination was not done.
we had to check ALL boxes individually, it's not like taking a sample out of the freaking 3.6K boxes.

SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER SUPER pissed off.
whenever I'm not at work, something big must happen.
it's like a curse that i have to be at work, but NO, i am just a part-timer.
SO STOP IT.
i actually feel quite sad for Janet, why is she the one doing everything?
ROAR.


i can really get tired at times.

im v v v near to breaking down again.


my super suay tuesday. at 1:38 AM

It all started with....
not able to get to bedok on time!
NOT because i woke up late, but because... the maid brought my ahma to bath!
and they took quite long!
can't blame her also, she didnt know we need to bath and go to work! so ahhh, nvm. took a cab down to work!
thought today will be a good day, since my clique of ppl are all working! :) and even janet was working! i even walk over to say morning to her w a HUGE SMILE! :)
AND I REALLY thought it will be a good day, since i chose to sit in the manager room also.

who knows, the deadline for some issue was being brought forward and they need an update almost immediately.being janet's pa, of cos i got to assist her. she told me to get reports, and everything, within 30 mins, tgt w esther and kwang, we've managed to churn out a report for her. So, she told me to tell other centres manager too. 1st round, i did told them. case closed.

but then i needed to call them a second time since their reply was....... -.-
so yea.. i kept calling but no one picked up and it was SUPER urgent.. so i kept calling.
and you know what, i got scolded. LIKE COME ON, I do have my stuffs to clear too you know!
you think I'm so so so free to keep spamming you? I can just spend my time doing better things than to CALL. and it's obvious that BECAUSE it's FREAKING urgent, i kept on calling.
who ask your boss to rush all of us? you could have just tell me nicely that the person i want to speak to is NOT free. and not pick up and not even asking who i am, and start to scold me.....
so what abt those days when you kept calling my dear Janet? can i pick up the call and tell you.. "STOP CALLING." ?! obviously not!
if you are annoyed, just move a bit and then press the silence button! if you are even so rude to pick up someone else's call, you can also just push that button at the side for it to become silence.
if one day YOU need smth urgent, i hope no one picks up your call.



pissing me off SERIOUSLY.
nevertheless, since I got scolded damn innocently... i decided that ps shall be the first centre to finish the whole list of boxes and modems that should be done but not done.
So w esther and kwang, we chiong everything.. swee swee by 1030. we were done. :)
and guess what, i send the reports swee swee w all the percentage and whole number and send to ALL managers of CSC!
At least something off our shoulders now! AND GREAT, we all 3 are on offs! no calls shall be entertained. At least for tomorrow, since im still mad.!


Okay chill chill, FL please chill down now! 


Enough of work for now.
back to being a student when I wake up!
I think I have split personality when I'm at work and when I'm off work!
Though I cry easily, I have to admit that, at work i tend to look a bit more mature... as in like.. handle cases w a bit more maturity. but when im off work, i totally just let go of myself and be who im really am.
I can whine quite a bit, emo quite a bit, but same as work, i'll laugh quite a lot. :)
I just feel that I'm different when I'm at work and off work! like you know, there seems to be a lil bit of responsibility when people see you as someone respectable.
I can't say I have a team to lead, but more of, guess I just have to set a gd role model. and since esther is leaving, the more i should set a better example.


There's something that's bothering me too. But I guess it will just take time to get used to it. To be honest, nowadays I'm already trying my best to. =/ I don't know why it makes me feel quite sad. But at the same time, I know I have got to be happy about it. But I sucks at hiding the truth. It's like.. you know someone else replace your position and that the person actually cares more for the other now. it sucks to know the truth.. but reality always hurts! I know it will just take time, and hopefully this jealous feeling will fade.
I CANT believe im getting jealous over friendship. quite sian come to think of it. It's impossible that I can just bury myself w books n not think abt it at all. Forcing myself not to care and think abt it.. seems impossible too. i don't know how to feel better tbh. )':



Gotta wake up early tmr to check abt passport stuff and hopefully do smth productive.
i hope this heavy feeling will go away when i wake up.

hopefully it will.


still amazes me how i'm still texting Ben, my new friend! :)

ohhh and, i realised the no. of ppl who actually care for me. :)
thanks HPY, Esther, Kwang, Janet, Siti K, my xiao di HongHan, my buddy Nik, muhammad, Chanhui, valerie and every other ppl!



i know tmr will be a better day. :)


mixed feeling day. at 12:47 AM

Same old feelings these few days. ): 


it'll b fine after a while, I just know it. 



Got caught using phone during lecture today! OMGNESS.
and it was a msg from my sis! ROAR! ):
so malu la! =X

buy a lot of stuff for CNY already! i feel happppppppppy! :D:D:D
and totally love it when family go out tgt to buy stuff or have dinner! :D
plus, grandma is over at my hse now! :)
although i felt sad today morning, cos i saw how weak she is. ))))))):
and i really dont understand what she wanted to convey, so, i felt damn helpless. ):
sorry grandma! ):

can't wait for CNY seriously! :D

need to pack my room REALLY soon. dammmmmnnnnn messy ah! ):


okay, i guess i better go rest hao le!


nights.


i miss SRJC peeps! at 12:29 AM

today while going home alone, got a lil emo when this song started playing...


suddenly memories came into my mind.
the sad ones, happy ones... everything! and how we all always get tired!
flag raising, morning annoucement...


We've come a long way
through laughter and tears
we grow as we play
as days turn to years
we had a dream and now it seems
reality is here

Please help me to see beyond myself
just willing to be
all things to them
yes here i am to give to them
a blessing onto others



SRJC council song.

totally miss my council friends.
rina, herman, andy, sharilyn, lydia, just saw pretti that day!
i miss cheryl lek!!! ): and all of the others! REALLY REALLY REALLY! ):
miss those days we plan for orientation, those days we took turns to make announcement, those days we plan for teachers' day and many others. ):

AND i look better then! ):


UPSET.


at 2:27 PM

realised trip to taiwan has 10 days inclusive of both the arrival and departure day!

anyway, gotta head to school now.
i feel different today, and i dont know why.


DAY-OUT! at 12:47 AM

SHOPPING SPREE W SISTER! :)

didn't buy a lot of things but not that bad. one more dress for CNY.
now got to play ard and see which one I should wear for CNY! :)
thank you sister for the jacket! (: this is because, you took mine and also for thanking me for getting you a JOB! :D

took my JJ album already! YAYYY GOT HIS SIGNATURE! :)
wahhhh damn happy lo! tomorrow shall upload the photo of everything!
the CD w signature, the JJFC freebies, the POSTER! :D
I seriously, can't wait to go his concert in March! :)

Went down to 85 ard 7 plus for dinner w kwang, hao, zj, zx and sister.
after that, planning of TW trip w zx/kwang/sis @ kwang's place. :)
roughly we already plan out where we want to go. YAY! so this means, can book tix real soon. :)
it's gonna be exciting! Afterall, this is going to be my 2nd time going out of Sg without my parents.
and this time round, it's gonna be so much longer than the first time!
I hope we'll have GREAT memories in TW. HOHOHO, i seriously can't wait! :)
shall search for the hotels tomorrow before going to school. :)


Tomorrow also going to be quite packed. gonna 办年货tomorrow after class! so need to chiong home!


I totally hate my MOL Express for being SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SLOW at night! I REALLY cannot take it sia! ): ROAR!


9 more days till BFF return. <3


my inner voice. at 2:40 AM

my last day w hamster and chanhui @ work!

today marks the last day hamster, cat and porcupine work tgt! ):
I wouldn't be working tomorrow and it's their official last day! Hence, went out w them to icecube just now.
Talk abt everything w Vicki, hamster, Kwang, CH. :)
and I hope, Vicki doesnt think too much abt...... my personal stuff! roarrrrrr!!!!!

I really hope people would stop asking me abt PAST.
and I know CNY is coming, I'm gonna get more questions about it. I don't really know how to answer really. ): the thought of it really just kills me. 


I kinda dislike myself for the past few days actually. It's within me. ): There are days when you just feel lousy about yourself? And you will start to think of a lot of things. Yea, I dont know why I feel this way now. I really... I don't know how to express this. I dislike how I say the opposite, how I decided to feel the opposite, how I act the opposite on some stuffs. ): I really don't like being too strong, being too suave. Sometimes I really have something in my mind which I can't express, can't show out because I know it's not appropriate. But it's also because of all these I feel quite awful. ): I don't know what's bothering me. Maybe I'm just too stress? Or maybe I know what I am troubled about, just don't want to dwell on it for too long? I need help! ):




Going shopping w sister tomorrow! :DDD and then going to kwang's place to discuss about Taiwan w zx also! :) hope can get cheap and good stuff during shopping trip.
Can't spend too much also!
and also, I want to recover SOOOOOON cos HPY agreed to go sing !!! SOOOON i hope! :D


Gonna rest now! :) and i got to know a new friend today!! We've been texting since 2pm. WOAH! =)


HPY, i hope your massage will make me feel better tmr! :)


10 more days till BFF is back! :D


nights all!


at 8:34 AM

My mood failed to lift up after the night, but you know what, I'm just gonna fake a smile n live w it. Afterall, I got myself into this. Blame it on me.

Please get out of this mess. Please...


smiling campaign. at 12:16 AM

PLEASE REMEMBER TO STAY HAPPY! :D

Life is too short to be sad.


1,2,3 SMILE! :D


careless me. at 11:09 PM

I totally did not know I left my wristlet @ work! How careless can I get? ):
My mind seems to be wandering EVERYWHERE nowadays. booo!
Focus FL FOCUS!!!


Gotta head back to work tomorrow, and I am sure it's nt a gd working day tmr!
because. !@$*)!@$*!@)$ Seriously, I am pissed off.
Totally hate why we always have so much things to clear. Clear all the shit, like come on...
Forget it, no point ranting here either. It totally wouldn't help at ALL! ):


Totally heart my closest JC clique! :)
met them just now, without leo of cos!
(but 2 more weeks and he'll b back! hello love, i am waiting for you! :P)
So anyway, thank you BOB for the snacks from hokkaido! :)
SINFUL sia! cos had FONDUE wahahahha! :))))

I feel quite sad also.
But nowadays, I look damn old. ):
When I took a photo of myself and Yvonne, I totally stun sia! ):
WHY WHY WHY i look as though im 24/25?! I am not even 21!
I really really really need to drink more water and sleep earlier! If not, I will age FAST! ):

and to Yvonne:
我的一辈子的好朋友！Please REST more okay! :D
and time to grow up, stop looking at kids clothes! SERIOUSLY.


It seems like all my friends are excited when I told them abt my 21st birthday and 85!
HELLO FRIENDS, IT WILL NOT HAPPEN. NOT AT 85 seriously!
To be honest, I don't really need a celebration. I think what matter the most is.... the sincere wishes from everyone who are dear to me! :)
beside, if I really do not have plan on my 21st, I know what to do! :) Provided.. that friend is FREE! :D
well, let's just wait for June 2011. :D


now i feel more motivated to study because I got PEN REFILL already! :D
sounds retarded i know. but you know sometime it just SUCKS when you have 4 pens that has no ink! ):


I need to keep my mind occupied because I do not want to think of stuffs that causes me to be upset. ROAR.


thursday is a GOOD GOOD day! :) at 12:22 AM

Went back to work today. :)
and i got 凉茶 from 小弟 ! :)))
just cos he knows i'm sick and that i went back because of him! :DDDD
甜在心里啦！ :)


Work today was not that bad!
Saw 2 handsome men today! :)
Andy lau and Alan Wu! :) I saw I think Kwang is... HAHAAHHA!
He got so high when he say Alan Wu! :P but seriously, handsomeeee! :)
plus Khai and Eugene are picking things up V V fast! :) *thumbs up*
so i feel quite relieved! :) I am feeling better as well, throat no longer sore.
Voice is coming back a lil. Stomach still feel quite weird here and there! but if i dont eat, it's like...i'll get hungry. if i eat, i feel weird! mmmm, REALLY weird. =X

Tomorrow going to meet Yvonne and Bob after class @ NEX! :D
NEX has got to b my next fav hang out place, though i really think it's quite messy there~! :)
gonna visit colleagues there too i guess! :) hopefully im early! :)



and I'VE FINALLY GOT BACK MY DS! :DDDDD
oh my baby, i miss you so much! (:
thank you HPY! :))))
and for this, i'll give you a pleasant surprise soon! :)))))
but maybe a small one here first! ( i copy your idea! )
but i still want to go and sing!


random:
I'll slowly get used to it. I hope I will.


my sick wednesday. at 8:35 PM

who loves to be sick?
I totally dislike the feeling!
It's like I'm totally not in the mood for anything.
I felt as though I have wasted the whole day! Because I did nothing. ):
Other than, my waiting time, i read quite a bit!
When I reach home, I ate my medicine and then I fell aslp! =(
the flu medicine made me drowsy. SERIOUSLY.
it's damn long since i've gotten a MC!

I still remember in my JC days, during the last phase.. I would usually want to skip sch w BFF!
LOL, such a bad influence right! but no, we really did went out to study! LOL!
and i'll go take MC.
but i did not take MC a lot of times during my JC life okay!!! =X

ANYWAY,
I have to say, today trip to clinic must be the most suckiest one.
I spent <1 min in the room. !$*!)$*@$
all she did was...
"so what are you here for today?"
i was thinking.."obviously cos im sick."
so she used stethoscope to hear hear a bit, and that's it. never tell me what's wrong!
ROAR! ):

but i felt DAMN paiseh also la!
she asked me.."so what's the temperature outside?"
i was like "huh?!" (apparently i did not take temperature at the entrance.)
so i replied "QUITE COLD"
OKAY DONT LAUGH PEOPLE! DAMNNNNN PAISEHHHHHH!
SHE REPLIED " I MEANT, YOUR BODY TEMPERATURE..." i was like..... "ohhhhhhh.."

random:
Okay, FL feels like singing, ANYONE?
HPY, 好不好去唱歌！ LOL!!!!!


Terrible day w sparks of light. at 11:41 PM

Today is a TERRIBLE day.
From the start of 2011, today has got to be the worst.

it started out w me waking up 25 mins late.
to the sudden sore throat in the morning.
and the sudden short sharp pain which went on for almost 2 hrs. ):
what make it worse was........... nvm.
it's the same old thing.




Thankfully, there were people who kept joking to make me feel better.
Really got to thank Kwang & Esther for filling damn hot water for me, for getting me liangteh.
Got to thank CX for his joke too! :)
and of cos, BUDDY! :)) for showing his concern, though he had a rough day too. :)
maybe everything would be a lil better w HPY concern, but he was clearing his KIV i guess and he didnt know that i was in great pain.


Okay, kinda sure that Taiwan trip is confirm. But I guess we all need to really discuss and plan our 9 days schedule! :) like when we reach, where should we go... from where to where.. where should we start our tour! :) Afterall, we going free and easy! Lucky thing is, both guys been there before! So can really count on them! Plus, they are those 2 who I trust the most in SH. :) so, I actually feel safe going w them. :) At least i know, they will protect us if anything happens!
(WELL I HOPE! :P)



Felt quite disorganised @ work today.
Didn't really finish doing what I am supposed to do.
Felt really apologetic to NickTeng and Raj. ): Was supposed to help them w non epos.
But, I was in great pain that....... =(((


Hope tomorrow will be a better day. :)


And I feel that, I can't change the reality anymore. 



On a lighter note, I'm glad that HPY came back to work today. :)
Although I'm sure it's not because I'm working, things still feel in place w him around. :)))
At least, his smile will keep me going. :) just like how someone else smile will keep him going. :))))
thank you, HPY! :D
and btw, it's a pleasant surprise!!!!


okay, gotta rest early.


my all-time fav eng song. at 11:50 PM




i don't wanna try, no more. at 10:50 PM

don't wanna try, don't wanna try, don't wanna try no more........


It's a cold cold cold cold night tonight.
Did quite a lot of things today. :)

Forgot to mention, my best friend LEO is back @ Indo.
OH MAN, I feel him so close to me now! :DD
At least I know he's back home. The distance between Indo and Sing is much nearer than between Shanghai and Sing! :) HEHEHE! :D
just 2 more weeks! ((((((:

Studied a bit before I went to school today. :)
Headed for Macro lecture in the afternoon, saw hamster neo in school! :))
And once again, the guys are late! They are never early!! One of them still decided to spy on me during lecture! *stares at Guowei!*
Okay, today lecture..... half of it, i really do not understand. Tried my best to stay focus already.
Beside, I didn't even touch my phone... (minus calls from jacintha, vivo manager, calvin asking abt work)
Damn coincidence man! They just got to contact me while Im having lesson.

Seriously, my phone.......... is quite dead nowadays. =/
I still miss those good OLD days when I'm like forever busy w phone!
Feel quite sad that no one is msging me! ROAR!


So after lesson, didn't wait for Shirla they all to go home, instead went home alone.
Plug my favourite earpiece in, and enjoy the alone time. :)
I really dislike the peak hours, so so so so many people! Plus, boarding the bus from the bus stop takes long time! because there is like what... hundreds of people at the bus stop!
And suay enough, SIM bus stop is 1 stop after NP bus stop! The bus is always packed! ):
At least, luck was on my side today, managed to board 74 within 5 mins. :)
Went to get my fringe cut too! Felt quite irritated that I can't have good view! =/
cannot hear properly already, so at least have got to see properly!


I think somehow, I have already decided when I want to leave my job. =/
是有点依依不舍的感觉。。 始终还是要走。。
I'll make sure the new batch will be good before I take my leave.
As of now, I feel quite sad that a lot of people are leaving.
Shirla, Nick, QL.. and Especially Esther. )))):
She's the one who came in together with me. We went to the same interview, went to the same training.
Packed the super messy Backend room once, pack Sim card, do the mountain of EVERYTHING. ):
and now, she's gonna take her leave. ): I really really really feel down.
but I have to go on. :) I know I will still be able to handle everything else w all of them gone.
Because I will have a whole new members in BE team. and HOPEFULLY... everything will be gd. :)
But obviously, I will still miss the pioneer batch of us!(Esther and QL)

just a random thought,
Sometimes, I feel really invisible.




Gonna end my blog with a great analogy from my buddy,





 


sucky sunday. ): at 12:51 AM

Today doesn't seem to be a good day at all. ):

Went to work feeling sucky and a bit of light-headed.
And then knowing that I have lots of things to do today doesnt help much at all. ):
Stupid me and my deadline.
I totally did not manage my time well. ): Felt damn rush. Should have just return on fri night, sat morning! ):
so to be honest, I was indeed V moody @ work.
which was why, i decided to plug in my earpiece and not talk so much today.
Afterall, it's also better not to talk too much.

Something happened which made me quite upset today.
Thinking back for the past 6 months... I've did quite a lot of stuff.
Learnt quite a lot of stuff by ourselves. It simply amazes me, how the backend team..which basically needs to do all the provisioning... do not have to attend Siebel training at all.
It really amazes me... when Esther, Qianlin and I could figure out everything in 1 day.
how to transfer, how to upgrade, how to dso, how to create new order.

So anyway, I feel really upset today when someone ask me.. "so what can i ask you about?"
"like you know if i have XXXX cases i will pass to XXXXX . what about you? "
and then i felt the sad feeling, and without thinking i said... "to be honest, I do everything."

Seriously, there are reasons why sometimes I reject cases... and they are always w valid reasons.
don't pass me cases that's not complete, don't pass me cases which no one can do...
i really dislike how some staffs "take advantages" of the team.
job that doesnt belong to us..suddenly it became our daily job.
the best part is..... even when they are not busy, they still push the job over.
and sometimes, I really wonder why is it just US, we have to clear all the shit from everywhere.

I guess as part of the team, I've learn more than what I need to know.
non epos, mapping of multi-sim, plan the whole team schedule(i swear it's not easy), number porting?
sometimes I ask myself, should I really go and learn? Or should I just do what I am supposed to do?
Should I even bother about the rest of the things? And then my answer will always be..
"it's good to learn more things, it's good to help others. Afterall, your job here is to help others lighten their work load isnt it?"
but there will come to a point.... when i will eventually break down. NOT that i do not want to help others.. it's just myself... feeling too much stress. =/
it's like... blowing a balloon.. the more air you pump in, the bigger it will get.. eventually it will POP and burst!


I really need to give myself a break, not from studying of cos.
Exams is nearing.. i can't afford to give myself a break from studying.
And with encouragement from HPY, I know I will be able to make it. :)

and talking about my HPY, my work will most probably sucks for the next 2 working days of mine!
because if I am not wrong, both days... HPY will be on OFF/RD.
how lucky can i get? what a coincidence! 
OH WELL, will dread the day @ work seriously. =(


Where's the HAPPY FL, enough of break yo! please come back!!! (:

okay, i've rant enough. (:
got to head to bed really soon.


My not so good Sunday morning.. at 9:38 AM

Morning. (: blogging once again while I'm on the train to dhoby! Simply love the circle line for the strong 3G network. (: okay, how should I start this... Mmm... Seriously, I aint feeling too good. Both mentally n physically. :/ I've probably drank too much last night. But nvm, that's nt what Im concern about. ):

You know, sometimes we just can't have any 期待. Because, if we do, we'll often end up being upset. Yup. I've always know this. But somehow, here I am, feeling this. :/ 明知道我不该期待，我还是。。。just maybe I haven't learn my lesson. Just maybe I need to give myself a tight slap. Or just Maybe, I should just feel the feeling totally n then let it go. Which is the most tough thing to do. :/ honestly, I really do not like this feeling. Because sometimes it hurts quite bad. 我讲真的。

Woah, what a way to start my Sunday right? Oh well... I'll still continue to live my life to its fullest. (: moreover, I have many things to do. And eventually, I'll be too busy.... Just maybe, I should drown myself w many work n assignments and tutorial.

Off to work now! I'm reaching dhoby! (:

Till then!


at 12:30 AM




at 12:16 AM

I end my 14th January on a happy note. :)

It wasn't a really good day.
Although I am glad that I studied quite a bit.
Shall leave the "not a really good day" in the next post.

but as of now, i am happy. :)
Have to give credit to the Dj la! Although I hope he read out the msg in english.
somehow he miss out quite a few part but nevermind! :)
BUT I am still happy.
as long as HPY 知道 meaning 就好了! :D
 


at 12:27 AM

泪怎么流了下来？




当我知道你们相爱 at 12:09 AM

当我知道你们相爱
我的心里泛起许多无奈
这时候我该有个专属幸福
我会不停的等待等待着未来

was thinking about life today.
Life is unfair from the very first moment.
when you are born, you do not have the choice of being w which family.


yes, i think life is unfair.
but it's how we see the matter, and how we choose to handle it.
But there are times, I feel really lost that I do not know how to handle.
I hate it when reality hit me, smack right into my face.
which seems like what is happening right now.
it's hard for me to speak, hard for me to really express.
but i know deep inside me, i feel awful.. upset... tearing... i feel troubled.
because i know what i am supposed and NOT supposed to do.
songs express my feelings really well sometimes, but right now, i can't even find the right tune to my problem.
hence, what's the solution? In search of an answer..

I haven't really been happy these few days, honestly. And before I close my eyes, it's the same things im thinking about, when I open my eyes.. it's still the same things.
It's hard. Life's tough.
But I still have to move on, I still have to carry on w everything.
It's all in the mind, but the mind can get tired sometimes.


right now, 
i just hope to go to the beach and listen to the crushing sound of the waves with whoever is willing to go with me. 


many things in my mind. at 2:33 PM

why do I not have confidence? ):


stress at 12:51 AM

work and study is NO JOKE AT ALL.
work itself can be already be stressful, think abt study... which is WAY MORE IMPT than work! ):


i was not in my best mood today.
kinda shouted at some innocent people who i really feel apologetic about!
better sms them soon. =X
today confirm is PMS. it's the time of the month, gotta forgive me! =X


random, weird cravings! i feel like having soya bean.

i better study study study study tmr, thurs, fri!
so that when i go out on sat and work on sun, i wouldn feel guilty!


i have got to manage my time well. if not, i will really be a STRESS cat! :)


and and and, 21 more days to CNY eve = 21 more days till bestfriend is in SG! :D
why is my heart beating so fast! :P

gotta sleep now.
i hope everyone will have a great day tmr! :) SMILE!


Cancer at 12:10 AM

Cancer, the fourth sign of the zodiac, is a water sign, which signifies your highly emotional nature. Being under the sway of the element of water also makes you highly caring, generous and intuitive. You are highly evolved, even spiritual — the water signs are karmically developed and refined in spirit.

Water is malleable and adaptable. You are very much like that. You adapt when you have to, but you much prefer to make changes on your own terms.
Like water, you are soothing and nourishing too. Life-supporting energies are at the heart of your character. You will act as a support for many people — in your own family and beyond.

Oscar-winning actress Kathy Bates is a dedicated patron, funding a Beverly Hills hospital for women recovering from cancer. Guess what her star sign is? You got it — Cancer!

You are for the most part a person of feeling and sensation. Often you will ignore your own judgment and rationality, and someone’s else’s reasonable advice, in favour of how you feel. You don’t care if you’re wrong, either! If your intuition tells you to do something, like reaching out to give someone a helping hand, you’ll just do it.

Others turn to you when they need a shoulder to cry on — you’ll do well in any of the caring professions. This approach is highlighted by your key life phrase, ‘I nurture’. You find it difficult to turn away anyone in need. Anyone who knows you will agree that you are one of the best people to connect with if they need advice. Friends will turn to you if they are in trouble, knowing that your sensitive and compassionate touch will lighten their load.

You are extremely receptive to your environment and the people around you, and will often ‘pick up’ people’s energies, moods and thoughts. This ability serves you well; your intuition about people is quite often correct. Your knack of knowing people’s issues before they even open their mouths attracts them to you. The difficulty with this, though, is that you can tend to absorb their emotions — negative as well as positive.

You reflect the qualities of the changing Moon. This means that at times your emotions get the better of you, and you swing from high to low. Family and friends will be well aware of this, but they will not doubt your loyalty and supportiveness.

Another aspect of the Moon that sometimes doesn’t work well for you is its maternal nature. You sometimes veer too close to the mothering/smothering lane, which can put people off.

Back on the plus side, you love to mix with all sorts of people. Social activities are an essential ingredient in your development. You are a great success socially, because you can convey your wisdom to others so well — Cancerians have very expressive faces.

Creative enterprises are a great way to make the most of your moods and your imagination. Music and writing are perfect vehicles for you. You can express the inner part of your being as entertaining literary, art or music pieces.

Cooking is also a great outlet for you. Even if you cook as a hobby rather than as a job, you will find that it balances your state of mind over time.

Sometimes you can get locked into your own private lifestyle, and only come out at full Moon. Being a recluse is not for you, though — share your talents and love with the world. Some of this is down to your love of the night.

Because the Moon’s domain is the night, many Cancerians are night owls. From twilight on, your creativity starts to flow and you feel at home — you have a strong affinity with lunar energies. This is a good time to get into writing, meditating, or just walking in the moonlight. All these will energise you. You love the stillness and mystery of the night.

You are a consummate homemaker. Even men born under this sign express the ‘feminine’ aspect of their character in their love of the kitchen, and activities that make them feel secure in their domestic space.

You love to collect or keep mementos — such as scrapbooks and other bits and pieces — that bring back memories of good times and people you care about. You have a great memory, not just for facts, but also any good turn or kindness you’ve received.

You can always talk about any subject with anyone. That retentive memory is a help here, as is your impartial, even-handed approach to people generally. Dealing with people comes naturally to you: add this to your shrewdness and intuition, and you are likely to be a good businessperson. You can also use these skills in managing your day-to-day life.

If you are a Cancer born between 22nd June and 3rd July you are under the double influence of Moon. You are emotional, loving and destined in marriage and love life. However, try to curb your changeable emotions. Don't let sentimentality rule you.

Were you born between 4th and 13th July? Well, Cancer, I see you have a very deep and penetrating mind and can sometimes be overly intense in relationships. Your loyalty is unconditional and you make the staunchest of friends.

As a Cancer born between 14th and 22nd July you are prone to a dreamy and idealistic attitude in life. You like the idea of being compassionate and forgiving to everyone and serve the needs of friends and family well. That’s fine but don’t forget that you have needs as well.

(I've bold what i think is true! like woahhhh! LOL!!! i'm emotional by nature... and others emotion affects my own!)


at 11:30 PM

okay, fl is happy. for studying for 2 hrs and that's 1 topic down! :)
money demand! :)

which includes, transactionary, speculative and precautionary. where precautionary is independent.
and there's 4 theories to explain.
BLAHBLAHBLAH! okay, I'm not gonna go on w what's in my head!

THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING NOW.
WHICH MADE ME PISSED OFF! ):
ROARRRRR!!!!


to HPY at 9:00 AM

This post is dedicated to my HPY,

In every stages of your life, there will be 2 new close friends. If you have more than 2 at the current moment, you're one of the lucky ones.
For myself, one new close friend is definitely good enough, and there isn't a need to find one more. :)

Where on earth will I find another HPY...

who will watch movie w me when I didn't have someone to watch with! And watching w a bunch of kids!! :)
who will meet me on his 21st to have a short HTHT session w me @ tea dot?

who will ask me to go school on my school days?
who will get me a new earpiece when I complaint mine spoilt?

who will share his coupon on BnJ's Banana Split?

who will surprisingly ask me to stop rubbing my eyes? (because i thought only my bestfriend will ask me to, and i remember saying it once... where will i find someone who will ask me to stop rubbing my eyes. and now.. i found) 
who will say things that cheer me up when im upset/angry?

I'm thankful and contented!! 

He is unique in his own way.
He gives the most sincere smile. :)


It's just amazing how 2 strangers in this world can become good friends. :)

Friends are important to me, and I hate to see friends upset. And I definitely hate friends quarreling.
Of cos, I can't expect my friends to be happy all the time.
At least, I hope friends will find one another when they're upset.
I may not be a good advicer, I'm definitely a good listener. :)

HPY,
Your smile matters to more than just me. I am sure your friends out there are also concern when you're sad. :)
SO PLEASE CHEER UP! :D


HPYF!!!! :D


at 1:24 AM

i just feel upset. ):


HELLO! :D at 10:07 PM

HELLO! 


watched late night movie yesterday @ ps !
caught the ghost must be crazy w SH peeps! :)
the show is... quite lame however I don't know why I still feel scared.
Till the extend that I was damn scared taking the lift home! ):
okay, crazy me. timid cat!

before movie, went to RELC to pay exams fee!
and my exams start on the... 10th may and end on the 1st June.
it's spread out. :) i have a 6 days break, and then a 10 days break. after which i have 2 papers. and then 4 days break till the last paper!
then then then, i can prepare to go TAIWAN! :)
or even SHANGHAI after that! [not sure if it will happen! but i want to visit BFF!]

after paying for exams fee, not sure what to do, so CH and I decided to go NEX to visit them! :)
and kwang met us there too! :)
Surprisingly, Janet went down to NEX too! had lunch w Janet/Avrial/Frederick/CH/Kwang! :)
Teppanyaki! I think it's the best teppanyaki i ever had seriously! :))
NEX is quite messy STILL, since the first time i went there.
and bought JJ's CD @ NEX, some accessories @ NEX too! :)
im a great spender! OHNO!
nvm, pay is coming in AGAIN.. the following week! the cut of date is TOMORROW! OH YES! :D

As for today,
met up with ZR. Damn long since I last went out with him. :)
caught HELLO STRANGER!
*thumbs up to the show!*
quote from the show : sometimes it's weird how you just met this certain person and you feel so close w him/her.
2 thai strangers met in Seoul, both got their heartbroken, and they end up falling in love. :)
a GREAT romance comedy! :)
and the guy has a great smile.



if it will happen, it will happen.


at 11:35 AM


Learn to love yourself before you love others. :)


i JUST need to BLOG! :) at 12:13 AM

in the middle of the night, when the clock strikes 12am.
I need to blog because of some feelings.

I actually feel pissed off and quite upset.
Why the fake "im-okay" mood seriously? what's up with it?
I gave in, I asked.
I got reluctant answer.
You ask, I replied.
You gave the most annoying face.
I admit, I rolled my eyes. However, thinking about it, I'll get more and more pissed off.

the more i give in, the more you take advantage.
and i swear.. it's not a gd feeling to hear you tell someone else and then someone else has to tell me about it.
and then you dont say anything abt it, thinking that i will do smth abt it!
COME ON, if you really have smth to say, tell me straight.
what's the point of you telling like i guess A LOT of people about it.....



what happened to us? 
it's really heart-aching to think about it. because as you know, i treasure FS a lot. ):


i am not feeling good.


i am not sure why my mind keeps wandering off today! ):


it's a happy day though it's a cold day. at 12:22 AM

you make it easier when life gets hard.

I hope chinese new come FAST because BESTFRIEND IS COMING BACKKKKK! :D
hello best friend, let's get a couple watch to symbolise our friendship! :)
it's great to catch up w BFF because he can make things right. (:

badminton @ 1pm later! :)



SHOULD I OR SHOULD I NOT TAKE PART IN THE TAYLOR SWIFT THINGY!
I want to go watch her concert, but then... the prize is only 1 ticket!
go watch concert alone abit.. ERRRRRRS... right?
but it's worth trying because there is 15 tickets! CORRECT?
i still haven't make up my mind!


just some random thoughts! at 1:01 AM

i never felt this way about work before and it's the first time.
Used to look forward to work almost everytime. ):
however nowadays, things seem different!
I do not feel the happy family mood anymore.
there's too much things going on i guess! and it's hard to know what everyone is thinking.
feeling a lil upset how we can't say things out face-to-face too! ):
it's even more saddening if i hear it from someone else.

I guess it would be good if things are not so complicated.
it's not just about 1 incident! it's more than just one. ):
my management skills really suck! and i always can't bring people together! ):
blame on myself. feeling quite upset about it seriously.

workload seems to increase quite a little.
it's good to learn more things however sometimes too much can get 1 crazy!
i almost flare up today! at the slightest thing! ):
but im always glad that i have the companion of a few of them! <3
there isn't a need to name them cos they will know who they are. :)

we've concluded that.. time is not the key component for a close friendship. :)
and i have to add on, distance is also not a key component! just like how far my bestfriend is right now!!! booo! ):


going to school later on!
i know many people will doubt me. but i am for sure going to school! I wouldn skip already!
If not exam how! RIGHTTTTT?




someone reminded me,
my main priority now is to study. :))


at 12:38 AM

somehow, i felt..... you've already cross the line.
don't continue with your actions, i'll get pissed off.
stop testing....


new year, new blogskin! :) at 4:40 PM

happy 2011, my friends! :)

2011 will definitely be a better year as compared to 2010.


STUDYING at 2:00 PM

I think my new skin is so clean and pretty! :)

A new start to my life.



and this will with me STUDYING! :D


booooooooks and boooooooks!
exams in 4 months, tell me how!