Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what 好朋友 are for

you should understand me! 

can't express myself further! :D 

HPYF! :D 

Hi (:
My name is FANGLIN and I rawkz!
Twenty-one candles on the 26th June '11. I ♥ Singing, Laughing, and Stoning.

FRIENDS
is the bomb.
i love love love my friends TTM!
xoxo


withlotsof♥♥♥♥




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at 11:50 PM


almost a yr ago, i did BAD ROMANCE during esprimere class. :P
just watch the video again and I JUST CANT STOP LAUGHING! :)
So much fun and laughter!! and i did smth which.... i wouldn really do in public! HAHAHA!
which is to dance and sing the bad romance!
I guess now, I'm only left w not singing and dancing to SNSD's songs! maybe shall video w some crazy peeps one day just for the fun of it! :)

it's another cold cold night which i feel emo! ):


at 2:21 PM

i'm about to let go.


是我想太多 你总这样说
但你却没有真的心疼我
是我想太多 我也这样说
这是唯一能安慰我的理由

I shall not think about it anymore. it's the last time.


at 12:00 AM

it's hard to tell my parents. ):
what am I supposed to do?
They ask abt him again! )):


at 4:38 PM

Actually quite tired of working already, but then if I don't continue working it's hard to find a job in the future.
Like say after exams, at least i know i still can come back to SH to work.
but nowadays, there are some things which makes me...........................
i think the more appropriate word is upset.


at 4:32 PM

down with flu. ):
totoally hate it when i have flu.
it makes me feel sleepy and tired. )):
maybe it's because I havent been sleeping for long hrs! ):
not sure when's my next off day.

Actually nowadays I don't feel like myself somehow or another.
It's weird how everything changed, and it's not for the better at all.
Okay, here comes another upset post! -.-
I have many weird emotions nowadays. Lost, upset, disappointed, pissed, jealous.
it's really weird, but i dont know how to control. ):


2010 is coming to an end.
i really hope 2011 will be better!


at 1:02 AM

if given a chance at all, i hope we could make it right instead.
you probably don't feel the same, but I miss you. ):


human are weird... and this includes myself.



today is a BAD day.
really. ):
i got scolded by a really close friend, i got REALLY shock. ):
i have never engage in a hot quarrel.
i was scared...i walk to the toilet to cry. what a mouse! ROAR! ):
yea, im really really timid and i really really hate fs problems.
but things are fine now, i know it is fine. but i still feel tramautize!
furry friends shouldnt quarrel right? :)

gift exchanged w the peeps today! :)
it was a happy happy one because everyone was happy w their gift! :D
and as expected, i guessed correctly who bought for who! hehehe! (:
and hopefully, my xmas tree is still intact.

work today REALLY sucks!
i felt a feeling which I shouldn't, which turns into a pissed off feeling.
I hope it wouldnt last long, I really hope it wouldn't.



Pay is in. :)
shopping spree soon?! LOL


at 12:28 AM

on the 20th, im upset all over again.


sad/happy. at 12:16 AM

smile because it happened. :)

cried enough @ work. covered it well.
all thanks to the wonderful friends!
and so coincidence.. it all happened during lunch time.

it's time to move on.
besides, there's lots for me to do.
unread books, studies, work.
lots of things to clear.

2010, not say a gd year...
neither is it a bad one.
I've did a lot this year.

1) went through a major uni exam. cleared all @ 1 go. although not say fantastic results. ):
2) work for close to 6 months, going 7 at the same place. :) obviously, there's where most my joy comes from! :)
3) learnt quite a bit.

and seriously, i feel that I've just AGED. ):
no idea why, seems that when i reach my 20th....... i look QUITE OLD. ))):
totally do not like it when i stand in front of the mirror la! ROAR!

Let's not lie.........
I am upset but hopefully I'll be good soon.
and hopefully i wouldnt emo in the middle of the night.


at 3:49 AM

i need a hug. ):


at 3:33 AM

I may have said so much, so much... but to be honest...
I am upset. ):


at 1:26 AM

maybe I was hoping and wishing too much.
maybe I should start to live in reality.

I guess I'm trying to chase a taiwan-drama-relationship.
just maybe I am really hoping too much.


I feel upset and weird not hearing from him for 2 days. ):


hopefully, things will turn better. )))):


你不知道的事 at 11:13 AM

it's probably just me.
the past one is like that, now it's also like this.
if it's so, then the problem lies in me, isnt it?

I've learnt not to be too sticky.
At the same time, I've learnt not to stick at all.
I've never felt this way before. ):

i guess, We're both out for different things.
Afterall, finding 2 individual seeking for the same thing is tough, it's hard.
we'll use this time to think if we should continue on.
Right now, it seems like... if we do, none of us will feel happy at all.
I can't seem to get your attention, all we ever discuss abt is work.
my love language is quality time and words of affirmation. i've always gotten none.
It's hard to show my true self w you, because you've always wanted me to be the mature one.
the true laughter and happiness.... is always hidden.
I know you are busy w work due to the sudden changes and everything, why not wait till you are more settled down then we decide what we should do?
when we see each other, i always thought you will be the one beside me, holding me.
but everytime when we see each other, you will be talking to someone else. and i'm always being left behind.
if i didn't go close to you yesterday, i guess you wouldn't even hold my hand.
maybe i'm just tired being the one trying too hard.

i guess now, it's time for you to take care of yourself, before you decide to love someone else.

for the first time,
I'm doubting my own feelings for you.
It all started well, I thought it would last. Now the answer is unclear.


at 1:28 AM

i really love you.
but.........


we need sometime off i guess.


at 10:49 PM

It's sad how I don't know his schedule at all. Not till the end of the day then I know he's on off. I didn't een get a single call. It's hard nt to feel upset. ): as much as I'm trying to be independent, you've prob left me unattended for sometime alr. Do you still feel the same or do you nt?

Sigh


at 12:02 PM

我很想爱他
但是眼睛在说谎
隐瞒比较容易吧
免得感情变得复杂
我很想爱他
但是理智在吵架
退出可能解围吗
谁能给我一个好的回答


okay it doesnt mean anything, so no one should think at all!
I just thought JJ sing till really really really touching.
Feel so..awww whenever i listen to it!
seriously.


felt quite awful last night.
nothing abt love. but abt work.
even if it's joking, i felt quite down. ):
okay, my bad.


somehow, i think im gonna break down soon! ):
but nvm, tis the season to be jolly~ :D


GREAT working buddies! :D at 12:18 AM

i don't know if i have been doing everything right.
it seems like there are people who agree w me and ppl who don't.
I mean like obviously.. there wouldn't be a time when EVERYTHING is going in your direction.

but anyway, seriously... i am thankful for this bunch of people. :)
REALLY.
they give me advices when i needed, listen to me... and they are frank. :)
i really really appreciate today's discussion w N and E! :D
it's more of a .... SHARING session.
I really hope N would stay... because.. FL... decided not to quit SH and continue working...
taking a break when exams approaching and if we are going TW! :D

work today was......
something new yet again. :) I really like trying out new things. however, this might means more jobs in the future. but hopefully not. cos there is more than 1000 cases to clear now! ): and i have to work out a plan such that by end of the year, everything is cleared! ohhohhhohhhh~ FL will make it. :D

today i "merry xmas" janet and told her i wanted a thumbdrive or a harddisk! hahhaaha!
she said, if i am staying and not quitting she'll get for me! HAHAHAHA!
and seriously even before she said that i have already decided to stay till next yr.. and then convert back temp in june also! HAHAHAHA! :P toooo bad.. let's see if she's gonna get for me thumbdrive or harddisk k! HAHA! :P

today work was such a joy too! :)
after the HOT session.. and after cooling down...
Ham said really really funny things which got me laughing literally non stop for 10 mins!
and i laughed DAMNN hard that my stomach hurts after that! tsk!
he's always full of nonsense! but in a gd way. :)))
therefore, work is *thumbs up* w Great people around. sad though, HPY not working today, if not he would have laugh really hard @ Ham too! lol.

enough of work. :)

tomorrow my sister gonna start work too!
hopefully she'll get used to everything and learn fast!
i hope people wouldn compare us both..
we definitely got our own gd and bad points. :)
okay, i know she's definitely the pretty one k! HAHAHA! but i have to say......
maybe im friendlier~

LUCKS TO SISTER! :D

gotta sleep now!
nights all!

xoxo.


at 10:49 PM

next pay day is in............
2 weeks time, i feel quite poor now! ):


anyway, today is definitely not my day!
left hse, started to rain.. somehow, my trip on my own slippers, broke(okay, chipped.) my toe nails, bleed a lil,
roar, and i dont have the habit of bringing umbrella out! ):
i better not catch the flu bug again! everyone is getting it! Scary!


I realised, I haven't do quite a no. of things!
have not post my letter to Shanghai for BFF! ohhnooo, he's so gonna kill me!
plus, xmas season sure letters will get delayed! OHNOOO, it's xmas present! how can! ):

okay, i shall not blog now, shall continue writing my letter! hahaha!
it seems like a loveletter! HAHAHAH! :)

i have YET to start reading too!
and received an email from Janet. oh well, gotta make sure we are on task.
why does the responsiblity seems a lil stressful?
but oh well, at least this means.. she thinks that i can handle! HAHAHA!
OKAY, self psycho-ing!

blog soon again!


好难受 at 11:27 AM

i hate it when all i could feel is.. " i don't know " or " im confused "

我不难过， 不伤心。。 只是有一种怪怪的感觉。。
好像。。不应该属于这里。。可是为什么要在这时候。。。。。
我只想一个人静静地。。。。。。。。。。

我搞不懂，我们到底怎么了。。

明明就没事了， 为什么我还是放不开，找不回..？ 


应该没有人能了解这感受吧？

不伤心， 只是。。。 好难受。。。


please do not leave me, itouch. at 12:34 AM

my itouch is gonna die on me VERY SOON. ):
feel so sad! ):

i guess it's the first electronic which i bought myself w my own hard-earned cash! ):
and its lifespan is decreasing....... ):
2 hrs is all it takes for the battery to die! but the thing is, i did not on my wifi, i just listen to songs while i study!
usually it would take 2 days for it to die with almost 24 hrs of playtime!
now all it takes is 2 hours! )))))):
UPSETTTTT!
i do not want to put too much songs into my iphone..


okay, just another random post.

and i studied 1 topic today. am i supposed to be proud?
.
.
.
.
.

NO.


幸福的感觉 at 12:33 AM

just return from cousin dexter's wedding! :)
well, wedding always give me the 幸福的感觉！
when cousin dexter sang on the stage to his wife, it was so awwww~ super sweet and super touching!

went to Melissa house before that. She offered to help me apply make up, cos we were going to be the reception. :) PRETTY OKAY! HAHAAHHA! :P



And....!
I saw my Jc Econs teacher @ my cousin's wedding! like omg, so qiao!
but it's not my fav Econs teacher though! :P
Went over to say hi and chat a lil! Afterall, I did not have bad records in JC, not say HIGH profile, but above average i guess! :P (since i was councilor.)
so yup, it's very heart-warming when you know that certain teacher still remember you. :P
even if it's not a deep impression it's fine. :P
will have another wedding next weekend.
Sat: another cousin.
Sun: Suhailah! :)

December is a month filled w joy and happiness.
Gonna type my new year resolution soon already. hahaha, but before that i seriously hope that december will be a GOOOOOD month! (:
At least, now i do not have any troubles within me. kinda talk things out a lil. :)
it's really really rare to see my blog entry filled with smiley faces! because usually, when i blog, im in quite a bad mood! hahaha! :)

Recently, I have text a certain someone, telling her that I actually miss everything we used to do, miss her as a friend and everything. I am really.... really... missing some others. I just do not know how to tell them. I guess i'll use xmas as a reason to text them soon. Although not celebrating w them, guess it's a good time to forgive ppl and befriend again, or even catch up. YUP, i should do it.

have yet to start with my new storybook! :P
but once i start, i will most prob have no time for other things!


things look like they are going great now, i hope it stays this way, if not better. :)


my decision. at 1:08 PM

When I made my decision abt 2 months plus ago, I did not care this much did I?
So I guess, I should get back to this thinking.
let's all not think this much. for future, for what i care more.. NOW.

after a short htht session,
after a bus ride home, after a bath, after a phone call, after a night of tossing and turning on bed....
i laid down my decision.
we ought to give each other one more chance.
to maintain a relationship is tiring, so i shall not be selfish.
it's hard to find someone who love you and you love him/her back afterall.
if i lose my own cool, i'll lose more than just 1 thing.
have been through a rough time for the past 2-3 weeks.
many thoughts were in my mind.
but for now, im pushing everything away.
we should all move forward and not look at the past and stay there.
this way, nothing goes on and things would get worse.
let's not be afraid. because.......
be brave, strong and fight it. (yea, kinda my fav phrase now.)
but.............
why do i have the... i do not know what to speak..............?

I am glad that I have got a HPY who i can seek advice from and be a listening ear. (:
thank you for spending your 21st giving advice to me. :)
and on your 21st, we've shook hands at 3:33:33pm and was about to eat and run from a restaurant! :P
*thumbs up* and cheers to our friendship.


I've got to agree, who says pure friendship doesnt exist?
you do not need many friends, you just need a few close friends. :)
it's hard to come across one, so i'll cherish all of them . 


i shall not hide my true feelings anymore.
because i know, things will go right when you feel real.



but i do have a regret...i shouldn't have give it up earlier this year.


HAPPY 21st! :D at 12:19 AM

Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what 好朋友 are for

you should understand me! 

can't express myself further! :D 

HPYF! :D 

rainy weather makes ppl emo at 12:06 AM

我没有变心， 我只是累了。。

i feel as though im not tht impt.
i totally understand what happened today, totally feel you.
but still, my heart sank, even though i told you it's fine.
it's not because of today, it's because of how everything is right now.


i will be fine.
for now, i am lost and i dont know what to do.
it hurts me so bad.


1001th at 1:29 AM

my 1001th post! :)

It's damn difficult to be neutral when it comes to communicating w people.
I mean, everyone tends to be bias in a way or another. It's like if you are closer to this person, you'll definitely help the person much more than others.
I think the word is.. impartial? it's hard to be impartial. okay, it's just a sudden thought!

Just saw this twitter by my friend...
" Always make your absence felt like u r missed. But don't let ur absence b so long tat he / she starts learning 2 live w/o u. "
true? 习惯就好! that's the phrase. I am starting to learn to be independent. I dont know if it's good or bad. Therefore, nowadays, I love to keep myself occupied such that i don't think at all. 
or too tired to think about anything. 

more and more people are asking, my answers are always the same. till it became a norm of what i'll say. 
but what's up with myself? 
ha, i have no no no no no idea. i dont like the strong front i've put up. ): 
it's tiring. 


fl is running away, you have got to pull her back.............. 
please dont give up. 




be brave, strong and fight it. 
 


at 12:45 PM

it's so wrong, but im loving it.
okay, i've got to finish what i need to finish tonight.
it's gonna be a busy busy night! :D


at 12:39 AM

I miss my bestfriend who is in China! ): 

BESTFRIEND, i hope you will get my christmas card soon!




tonight, im feeling all the emotions.
happy.upset.angry.

at the same time, i am shagged from work.
first time. =X




it's month of december.
santa oh santa, could you please......... grant me what i want?
it doesnt cost at all.